IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people believe that electric vehicles are the future of transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of using electric cars?

#people #vehicles #future #transportation #cars
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A large number of
people
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 think that
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car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 which are powered by
electricity
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 are the future of transportation. Regarding the advantage of electric vehicles, these types of
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car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 are often called eco-friendly
cars
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due to
Linking Words
 the fact that these
cars
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 do not emit carbon dioxide or CO2 like normal
cars
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.
In addition
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, these
cars
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 are equipped with electric motors and
this
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 technology allows
people
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 to drive in silence and
I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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without disturbing other
people
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.
Moreover
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, on account of the fact that these
cars
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 do not have additional noise,
car
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 companies can use less plastic to soundproof the
car
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 and that helps the environment a lot. In regard to the disadvantage of these products,
car
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 manufacturers have to use huge batteries for these vehicles which are harmful to the earth
due to
Linking Words
 the expensive and hard recycling process.
Furthermore
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, these
cars
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 consume
electricity
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 but the
electricity
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 which comes from clean sources like wind
,
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apply
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 does not meet the demands of
people
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. So the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 has to burn fossil fuels to provide more
electricity
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 for
people
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.
As a result
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,
this
Linking Words
 way of transportation is not as efficient as
people
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 think it is.
Additionally
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, electric
cars
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 have high acceleration
due to
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 the characteristic of their engine and there are some stories that
people
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 were unable to control the
car
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 and
consequently
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 that caused the accident.
Overall
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,
this
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 futuristic way of transportation has lots of pros and cons. Most of these vehicles's benefits are for the earth and atmosphere and by using these
cars
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 we will be able to have a cleaner earth and a neat environment.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, these
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car
Change the determiner
cars
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 are not as good as normal
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car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 and it is hard for
people
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 to use them for their daily tasks.
Although
Linking Words
 these
cars
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 have to improve a lot, they will be a good substitute for fossil
cars
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 at some point.
Submitted by Parsahassani077 on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a wider range of linking devices to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs. While you have structured your essay well, implementing connectors such as 'however,' 'therefore,' and 'nonetheless' can make transitions smoother.
coherence cohesion
Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that summarises the paragraph's main idea. This will help the reader to understand the direction of your argument more clearly.
task achievement
Support each advantage or disadvantage with more detailed examples and evidence. While you have mentioned important points, further elaboration and specific instances can strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Work on paraphrasing the task question more effectively in your introduction to avoid repetition and to demonstrate your range of vocabulary.
task achievement
Try to balance the length of paragraphs about advantages and disadvantages to ensure that each aspect is equally explored and presented. This will help in achieving a more comprehensive response to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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