health citizens positive/negative impact discuss both

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The importance of health citizens which was always debatable Has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial
while
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others reject
this
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notion. The substantial influence of
this
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trend has sparked
the
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apply
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controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, the former/latter proposition appears to be more rational.
This
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essay will
further
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elaborate my views for
favoring
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favouring
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the positive/negative impact and
thus
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, will lead to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
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, the first and
the
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foremost
reason
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behind
this
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is that . Another striking benefit in
this
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regard is that . Categorically discussing, it cannot be ignored that the main
reason
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behind
this
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is that . Probing ahead, one of the main underlying
Use synonyms
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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stems from the fact
is
Unnecessary verb
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that . Moving
further
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, it is pertinent to mention that.
Moreover
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, .
Change the punctuation
,
.
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Apart from the
reason
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mentioned above, it can be clearly stated
that
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apply
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why many are against/in favour of
this
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trend. Conclusion In conclusion to the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach
to
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apply
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a
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the
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gist that the benefits/drawbacks of workout are indeed too great/dire to ignore.

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task achievement
Your essay has a recognizable structure; however, it lacks specific examples and more developed ideas. Aim to include concrete examples that back up your main points.
coherence and cohesion
While you have an introduction and conclusion, they need to be clearer and more cohesive. Consider summarizing your main arguments more explicitly in your conclusion.
task achievement
You present a balanced view of the topic by mentioning both positive and negative impacts, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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