With an increasing overweight population some people think universities should make sport a compulsory module on all degree courses. To what extent do you agree?

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With the rising number of overweight people, some individuals believe universities should make
sports
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an obligatory subject in all the curriculums. I strongly agree with
this
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statement because it helps in increasing
health
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-related awareness among the
students
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and helps them build a healthy
lifestyle
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and habits. Educating
students
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about
sports
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in university education helps them learn about the importance of fitness, body care and the effect of exercise on their
health
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.
As a result
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, more
students
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turn to
sports
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and fitness, leading to a rise in awareness about overweight-related issues.
This
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motivates them to maintain a healthy
lifestyle
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, causing a decline in individuals suffering from
health
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problems
such
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as diabetes and hypertension.
For example
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, after
i
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I
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joined my school basketball team and started playing regularly, it helped me in controlling my diabetes. When
students
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are taught
sports
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regularly, they are more likely to acquire a healthy
lifestyle
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and food habits after completing their university education.
For instance
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, a great number of
students
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involved in
sports
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in schools and colleges continue playing the sport beyond finishing their studies.
As a result
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, they continue living an active
lifestyle
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and maintain good
health
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, which results in a decreasing unhealthy population. If an individual exercises daily, it helps them to maintain an active
lifestyle
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. In conclusion, making
sports
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obligatory in university modules helps to spread awareness regarding
health
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problems
such
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as high blood pressure and blood sugar levels, which are related to being overweight.
Furthermore
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, it
also
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helps in creating a healthy
lifestyle
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and learning good eating habits to stay active in their life.

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task achievement
Consider providing more varied examples or evidence to support your arguments. This will strengthen your points and enhance the overall persuasiveness of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use linking words and phrases effectively to guide the reader through your arguments, ensuring a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear viewpoint and presents logical arguments to support your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively summarize the main points of your essay, providing a cohesive structure.
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