Many people believe that companies and individuals should pay to clean up the environment in proportion to the amount of pollution they have produced. To what extent to you agree or disagree?
Some people assert that
businesses
and personnel should pay to clean up natural pollution while
some opponents don't want to pay fees. There is a persuasive agreement that businesses
and individuals have an all-out effort to protect the environment together as fast as possible.
As society develops more and more, increasing people's standard of living has negative effects on nature, polluting with disposable trash and chemicals which are made by companies and humans. To be specific, companies spend money
not only to study reusing methods but also
to develop recycling functions. Moreover
, individuals also
spend their money
on products made from natural materials, which helps businesses
with a commitment to environmental protection to survive and produce less polluting products.
On the other hand
, modern people, substantially frustrated with ceaseless natural pollution, think it is too late to do something. Therefore
, they could easily think protecting the environment is a task that the government is responsible.
Change preposition
for.
However
, environmental conservation is a responsibility that must be addressed by everyone around the world. Thus
, companies and individuals should work together to preserve the environment.
In conclusion, even though there are a lot of other solutions than paying money
, however
, developing reusing and recycling machines and supporting businesses
indubitably exemplify such
a theme. For all these reasons, I can strongly claim that paying money
to improve environmental conservation has an important impact on Earth.Submitted by kopopig on
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task achievement
Your essay effectively introduces the topic and has a clear conclusion that reiterates your main point. However, providing more detailed supporting evidence or specific examples can enhance your argument further.
task achievement
Some of the ideas presented could be more comprehensive. Try to elaborate more on how individuals and companies can contribute to cleaning up the environment more specifically, perhaps by citing successful case studies or giving detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure and has clear paragraphs. However, the transitions between some of the ideas could be smoother. For instance, you can use linking phrases such as 'Furthermore', 'In addition', or 'Consequently' to show the relationship between your ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
It would also be good to address counterarguments more thoroughly. You mentioned that some people believe it's the government's responsibility, but elaborating on why this viewpoint might be less effective could strengthen your own argument.
task achievement
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by outlining both perspectives before asserting your stance. This is a strong approach for such an essay.
task achievement
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and reinforces your argument well. This provides a sense of closure to the reader.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are generally well-organized into paragraphs, which helps in maintaining a logical flow throughout the essay. The use of paragraphs to separate different points contributes to readability.
coherence cohesion
You offer a balanced view by addressing different perspectives before presenting your own opinion, which demonstrates an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?