IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

you have a full-time job and are also doing a part-time evening course. You now find that you cannot continue the course. Write a letter to the course tutor. In your letter: Describe the situation Explain why you cannot continue at this time Say what action you would like to take.

Dear
sir
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Sir
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 or
madam
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Madam
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, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well. I am writing to inform you about the evening course I am taking. I am currently working
full time
Use the right word
full-time
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, and my
customers
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customer
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 base is growing.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I have to work overtime on several
each
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tasks each
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 week.
This
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 makes it very difficult for me to attend
classes
Punctuation problem
classes,
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 usually. I regret to inform you that I cannot continue the classes at
this
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 time. I feel cannot spend the necessary attention and effort
to
Change preposition
on
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 the course. I would like to ask how to withdraw from the course. Please let me know the necessary steps. Thank you very much for your understanding. I look forward to your advice. Sincerely, Van anh

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grammar
Fix small grammar mistakes to be clear: 'customer base' not 'customers base'; 'several times each week' not 'several each week'; 'I feel I cannot spend' instead of 'I feel cannot spend'.
structure
Make each paragraph hold one idea. Start with purpose, then explain, then ask for steps to withdraw.
coherence
Keep language simple and consistent: use 'course' or 'classes' the same all through.
tone
Maintain polite tone and thank the tutor for help.
greeting closing
Polite greeting and closing are strong.
purpose
Clear overall aim: to withdraw from the course.
tone
Courteous tone and respectful style.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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