Some people think sense of competition in children should be encouraged, other believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is undeniable that whether
children
Use synonyms
should be taught to compete or cooperate has become a highly debated issue in contemporary society. Different people hold divergent viewpoints, each with their own set of compelling reasons. From my perspective, a balanced approach incorporating both competition and cooperation could nurture well-rounded individuals capable of adapting to evolving societal and economic demands. On the one hand, I consider it rational to argue that encouraging a fostering a competitive spirit
yield
Correct subject-verb agreement
yields
show examples
numerous benefits. First of all, the drive to outperform peers enables
children
Use synonyms
to become more diligent, self-disciplined, and motivated, which helps them to understand the true significance of academic pursuit and facilitates the efficiency of studying. Meanwhile, experiencing setbacks from competitions might equip
children
Use synonyms
with resilience and perseverance that allow them to take challenges in stride and reckon difficulties as opportunities to sharpen their competitive edge.
However
Linking Words
, I
also
Linking Words
agree with the necessity to promote cooperation among
children
Use synonyms
. To be specific, the fact that various industries require strong communication capacities indicates that
children
Use synonyms
ought to foster interpersonal skills through collaboration.
For instance
Linking Words
, teamwork hones
children
Use synonyms
's skills in communication with those from entirely different backgrounds, providing them with multiple perspectives, which is advantageous in an increasingly globalized and interconnected world.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, collaboration plays a vital role in creating an environment with mutual respect and engagement, which often leads to a sense of community and belonging
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
improves
children
Use synonyms
's well-being and facilitates support among peers. In conclusion, both cooperation and competition are essential factors in preparing
children
Use synonyms
for their future academic performance and should be encouraged among
children
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay presents a balanced view, consider expanding your arguments with more specific examples or evidence to support your claims.
coherence and cohesion
To improve the logical flow, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, possibly by using linking words or phrases more strategically.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthening the introduction with a clearer thesis statement that outlines your main arguments could enhance clarity.
content
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion and highlights the relevance of the topic.
content
You successfully present both sides of the argument, which demonstrates critical thinking and a nuanced understanding of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sense of competition
  • encourage
  • cooperate
  • useful adults
  • resilience
  • perseverance
  • motivation
  • goals
  • excellence
  • work ethic
  • personal accountability
  • interpersonal skills
  • empathy
  • teamwork
  • effective communication
  • community
  • belonging
  • emotional well-being
  • globalized
  • interconnected
  • collaborate
  • balanced approach
  • individual achievement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: