Scientists and technology expert seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?
Nowadays, experts in
science
and technology are more likely to be respected by the community compared to creative workers like musicians and artists. From my point of view, I agree that scientists are more treasured by the community for various reasons, including the practicality of their outcomes and the duration of exact science
studies.
First and foremost, the outcomes invented by the machinery experts are more practical for most individuals in comparison to the arts produced by artists. In fact, non-art enthusiasts will not be familiar with fancy paintings or perfectly composed songs, but nearly everyone admits the importance of tools which help them on a daily basis. One clear example is the enhancement of household appliances, for example
, self-operating vacuum cleaners produced by Xiaomi, which has been proven to effectively save many people's time and energy. Thus
, society in general will treasure a group of people who have direct impacts on their lives, which in this
case happens to be scientists.
Subsequently
, science
scholars in fact need a longer time to master their skills and knowledge. Considering their hard-earned capabilities, society verdicts the superiority of scientists compared to successful figures in other areas. A medical doctor in my country, for instance
, not only has to finish a four-year undergraduate degree but needs to undergo a two-year program assisting doctors in some healthcare facilities. If they want to specialise in a certain field of medical studies, they need several additional years to achieve the degree. Therefore
, the wider community presume capabilities with high levels of difficulty deserve to be valued more than those with relatively easier pathways.
To conclude
, there can be no doubt that society highly respects exact studies and technology practitioners. Moreover
, this
essay endorses this
argument because science
experts' discoveries are paramount to human daily lives as well as
the acknowledgement of the difficulty of earning their level of expertise.Submitted by dandelionandburdock on
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Task Achievement
In terms of Task Achievement, your essay provides a well-rounded argument that is in line with the prompt. However, for higher scores, ensure that you expand on ideas with more depth and include a greater variety of relevant examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, transitions between points can be enhanced for a smoother flow of ideas. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to achieve this.
Relevant Specific Examples
While you included specific examples, such as the Xiaomi vacuum cleaner, additional diverse examples could strengthen your argument. For instance, mention the impact of technology in various fields like healthcare, education, and transportation to illustrate the broader value of scientists and technology experts.