IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Write a letter to the government about the lack of sports facilities in your hometown for people of your age. In your letter, you should tell: • what facilities you want • why you want them • what suggestions you can give

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am a resident of Oxford Street and I am writing
this
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 letter to draw your attention to the lack of sufficient sports facilities in our city. Admittedly, as a young member of
this
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 society, I believe the number of public swimming pools in Tehran is relatively limited; thereby opening some outdoor and indoor pools in different parts of the town, would be great.
Moreover
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,
although
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 playing football is a popular hobby among local residents, most of the stadiums are in terrible condition. From my point of view, doing sports not only fosters human health
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 acts as an outlet for people’s stress and strain.
Therefore
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, providing high-quality and diverse sports facilities can foster a sense of well-being in society.
Lastly
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, I think if the government allocate some funding to refurbishing and building football pitches, more and more young individuals will join the matches. I would like to thank you in advance for your cooperation on
this
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 matter, and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully Tim Barton

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coherence and cohesion
Consider adding a brief introduction that clearly states the purpose of the letter and your main points right at the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph distinctly focuses on one idea to enhance clarity. For example, the second paragraph could start with a clear topic sentence about the need for specific facilities.
tone
The letter has a polite and formal tone suitable for addressing government officials.
task achievement
You have clearly identified the main issues regarding sports facilities in your hometown, making it relevant and compelling.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • facilities
  • multi-purpose
  • sports complex
  • outdoor fitness areas
  • maintenance
  • under-utilized
  • community programs
  • youth participation
  • health and well-being
  • physical activities
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