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Writing Samples
Band 7

some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

While
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 some argue that
access
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 to a wide range of scientific knowledge is beneficial, others assert that some of them contain sensitive topics which are inappropriate to be published widely.
However
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, I support free
access
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 to scientific data. I firmly believe that certain
information
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 requires careful interpretation, as misunderstanding can lead to serious challenges in
society
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. Supporters of accessibility to scientific subjects claim that
democratization
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democratisation
show examples
 of
information
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 not only allows individuals to enhance their quality of life but
also
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 offers remarkable opportunities for their social advancement, both of which contribute to national progress. To put it clearly, the more capable and knowledgeable people are, the more they can contribute to the development of
society
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. As an example, artificial intelligence used as virtual tutoring tools has helped students research more efficiently and enhance their academic level, which in turn improves the
overall
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 quality of universities.
Furthermore
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, AI has enabled businesses to operate their markets more optional by providing valuable insights into marketing.
Thus
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, scientific data play a crucial role in developing an individual's skills and national progress.
On the other hand
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, opponents assert that
this
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 approach leads to harmful consequences in a
society
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, which are related to political protests and health issues. In simple terms, superficial knowledge causes people to make uninformed comments on complex subjects, which triggers widespread misunderstanding in a community, and sometimes irreparable damage.
For instance
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, in Iran, unrestricted
access
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 to medical
information
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 has resulted in the consumption of drugs, incredible has increased, side effects of which have generated antibiotic resistance, which in turn has harmed public health and strained the country’s economy.
Thus
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, the more accessible
information
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 becomes, the more risks a
society
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 faces- risks lead to crises threatening social peace.
To sum up
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,
although
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 open
access
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 to scientific research promotes both national and personal advancement, it should be regulated based on an individual's academic background to prevent serious issues
such
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 as health problems and social unrest.

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task achievement
Make sure you include more details and examples to support your main points. This will help the reader understand your ideas better.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow of your ideas by using connecting words and phrases more effectively. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that you develop that idea fully.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion in your thesis statement, which is important for the reader.
task achievement
Your arguments are relevant and cover different sides of the discussion, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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