In many families nowadays, both parents work and pay people to look after their children. Some people believe this is not good for families. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

It is undeniable that

parents

Use synonyms

play a vital role in shaping their

children

Use synonyms

overall

Linking Words

well-being. In modern society, it is significantly common for both

parents

Use synonyms

to work full-time, often relying on baby seating services to look after their

children

Use synonyms

. Some people argue that

this

Linking Words

trend negatively impacts family relationships.

This

Linking Words

essay completely agrees with

this

Linking Words

statement, because the absence can affect a child's emotional and moral development. Apparently, when both

parents

Use synonyms

are occupied in corporate careers,

children

Use synonyms

often miss out on valuable time and emotional support.

In other words

Linking Words

, The first three to four years of a child’s life are crucial for their

overall

Linking Words

development, as

this

Linking Words

stage emotional bonding, language skills and basic behavioural patterns to form.

while

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the unlovability of

parents

Use synonyms

can lead to behavioural issues and a lack of confidence.

For example

Linking Words

, it has been shown that

children

Use synonyms

who are raised by caregivers often struggle to form emotional bonds leading to communication gaps. Probing ahead, caregivers provide basic needs and maintain regular routines but they cannot teach moral guidance and values, that

parents

Use synonyms

significantly fulfil those needs and shape the

overall

Linking Words

decent behaviour of their toddler.

Parents

Use synonyms

play a crucial role in teaching discipline, empathy and kindness.

For instance

Linking Words

, studies show that folks who spend prolonged time with guardians are more likely to develop stronger emotional intelligence and problem-solving expertise compared to those who are raised mostly by nannies and daycare providers. In conclusion, I believe that relying entirely on paid caretakers during the early years of a child's life can negatively impact emotional bonding and development.

vairag4uThu Apr 24 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure

Consider rephrasing the introduction to provide a clearer overview of your argument. Providing a brief outline of the main points you will discuss could enhance clarity.

cohesion

In the second paragraph, clarify the connection between missing parental presence and the potential issues. More explicit transitions could improve the flow of ideas.

clarity

Ensure that there is a consistent use of terms such as 'parents' and 'caregivers' throughout the essay to avoid confusion about who is responsible for a child's upbringing.

argumentation

The essay presents a clear position on the topic and effectively communicates the main argument in the introduction.

support

Examples provided in the essay effectively support the claims made regarding emotional bonding and development.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Your next door neighbor owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbor requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: oYour reason for writing oWhat you would like to happen oA nice, respectful style.
I hope this letter finds you well. I'm Rita, living next to your house, I am writing in the concern of disturbance we are facing because of constant dog barking from your house.
6.5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
There's a phenomenon saying that nowadays people are becoming more enthusiastic about digging out the historical information of their houses due to many reasons like thirst for knowledge. As far as I'm concerned, some effective methods can be taken to help and promote their research.
6.5
band
Fossil fuel is the main source of energy. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. To what extent do you think is it a positive or nagetive development?
In some nations, renewable energy is an incentive to use although non-renewable is the primary source. I personally believe that this tendency has brought a positive development.
7
band
Scientific developments in farming always bring major benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Science in the development of agriculture is beneficial for our society. In my view, for our country's improvement, it is better to have a lot of advanced farming technologies, and I will explain why in the following paragraphs.
6.5
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
We are standing before the new dawn of a developing world. Therefore, some residents suppose that specialists like doctors and engineers should be given the freedom to work in another nation if that is their wish. Meanwhile, others think they should be requested to serve in the country where they took their diploma. This essay will discuss both views and personally, I am convinced by the second opinion.

In many families nowadays, both parents work and pay people to look after their children. Some people believe this is not good for families. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Your opinion

Your next door neighbor owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbor requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: oYour reason for writing oWhat you would like to happen oA nice, respectful style.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Fossil fuel is the main source of energy. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. To what extent do you think is it a positive or nagetive development?

Scientific developments in farming always bring major benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.