IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that educated people are more valuable than people who have learned skills through experience. Do you think that educated people are the most valuable for society? What kinds of skills can people learn trough experience that can benefit society?

Education is regarded as essential for an individual's growth and prosperity, as it enables them to address the needs of their occupation.
However
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, critics contend that practical skills learnt through
experience
Use synonyms
 are more valuable.
According to
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 them, people with the required skillset are more likely to be productive and effective in their roles. Despite
this
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, I firmly believe that educated people are most valuable to society.
To begin
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 with, educational institutions give students a range of options to explore, and at the university level, they receive more focused and practical training in their chosen field. By the time they graduate, they often have a deeper understanding of the job and are better equipped to handle challenges.
This
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 makes them more efficient and reliable in the workplace.
On the other hand
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, individuals who rely solely on
experience
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 may struggle in certain situations.
For example
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, in a previous company I worked for, the finance team was trained on the job to use the SAP Finance module.
While
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this
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 saved money, it created problems when issues came up, as they didn’t have the background to solve or even understand the errors. Eventually, the company had to bring in qualified professionals to retrain the team. That said, in some areas,
experience
Use synonyms
 matters more than formal education. Trades like construction, plumbing, and electrical work rely heavily on hands-on skills, which are often gained through practice rather than classroom learning. These jobs are especially in demand in countries
such
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 as New Zealand, Australia, and the United Arab Emirates. In conclusion,
while
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experience
Use synonyms
 is valuable, I believe that education provides a stronger foundation for contributing to society. It not only helps people perform better at work but
also
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 gives them the tools to keep learning and adapting over time.

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task achievement
Ensure that your argument is clearly presented in the introduction by summarizing the main points you will discuss. This provides the reader with a roadmap of your essay.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples that directly relate to the benefits of education and experience, making your argument more robust.
coherence and cohesion
Consider adding a transition sentence at the beginning of each paragraph to improve the flow between your ideas, which enhances coherence and cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay presents a well-structured argument with distinct paragraphs for each point, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as your experience with the finance team, effectively illustrates your points and strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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