IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films about it then actually visiting it. How true is this statement? is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that you cannot learn by watching programmes and films about it? give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience.

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Having knowledge about another
country
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 is something amazing for some
people
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, especially if we can visit the
country
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 by ourselves.
However
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, in the digital era,
people
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 can learn about another
country
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 not only by reading books but
also
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 by watching
TV
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 or surfing the internet.
While
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people
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 argue about better we visit other
countries
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 to know them specifically,
on the other hand
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, I strongly believe that watching some
programmes
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 on
TV
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 or watching
movies
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 can
also
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 benefit
people
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 to know better about other
countries
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.
First,
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watching some
TV
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programmes
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 will give
people
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 so much
information
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 about other
countries
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 that they have not visited before.
For example
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, channel
TV
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such
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 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 National Geography, BBC English, NHK Japan. National Geographic or Nat Geo has several types of
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
documentation, not only for animals but
also
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 about other
countries
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 with their cities or even specific about their cultures.
Additionally
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, some
programmes
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 talk directly about their
country
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 on their national
TV
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programmes
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. NHK is talking so much about Japan specifically and driving Japan's heritages and cultures for
people
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 around the world.
Thus
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, BBC from the UK, is speaking so much about the United Kingdom and educating
people
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 around the world by their educational program spreading out the English language to encourage
people
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 to learn English.
Second,
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movies
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 or films have had a big impact on
people
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 to know another place
besides
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 their originated place. For some reason, after watching a movie
people
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 get curious about the movie, and where the movie is made.
Moreover
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, watching
movies
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, based on true events, can provide specific
information
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 based on their type of
movies
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. In conclusion, learning about other
country
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countries
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 is known in several ways,
such
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 as visiting the
countries
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, watching
TV
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programmes
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 or watching
movies
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.
Although
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 some may argue that visiting other
countries
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 can give good knowledge and
information
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 about those
countries
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, I believe that watching
movies
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 or
TV
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programmes
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 can
also
Linking Words
 give specific
information
Use synonyms
 to foreigners.

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Task Achievement
Clarify your main argument in the introduction to have a stronger thesis statement. Consider stating your position more explicitly on the topic of learning about other countries.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the fluidity between paragraphs. Try to use linking phrases or words to improve the connection between your ideas, making your essay easier to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for grammatical errors and typos to enhance clarity and professionalism in your writing.
Task Achievement
You provided specific examples of television channels and their programming related to cultural education, which strengthens your argument.
Task Achievement
Your essay covers both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of different perspectives on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
You included a clear conclusion that encapsulates your views on the topic, which is essential for achieving higher coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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