IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

News media nowadays have influenced people's lives in negative ways. Agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

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There is a debate over which way of
teach
Verb problem
apply
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teaching should tutors follow, with some saying knowing how to evaluate is important for
students
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' closest future and some arguing there should be only academic programs. In my opinion, academics must know how to determine what is legal and wrong as they come up with problems in various situations. Teachers can help
students
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 learn to judge right and wrong by using real-life scenarios and classroom discussions to explore moral choices and their consequences.
For example
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, a teacher might present a story where a student finds a lost wallet and ask the class what the right action would be, guiding them through the reasoning behind honesty and empathy. Academic success alone does not ensure ethical decision-making. A student may excel in science,
however
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, without moral understanding, they may use their knowledge irresponsibly.
Therefore
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, teaching good from wrong helps
students
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 become responsible members of society.
However
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, some believe that values should be taught at home, and schools should focus purely on academics. It is true that academic qualifications are essential for future careers, and not all teachers are trained to deliver moral education.
However
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,
due to
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 the growing influence of social media and peer pressure, schools need to share the responsibility with parents in guiding children’s values. In conclusion,
while
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 academic knowledge is critical, the role of schools should
also
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 include teaching
students
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 to judge right from wrong.
This
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 combined approach will produce not only intelligent but
also
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 morally responsible individuals who contribute positively to the world.

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task achievement
Ensure that your thesis statement clearly reflects your stance on the issue more directly in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Consider explicitly linking your ideas throughout the essay to improve the flow of arguments.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or case studies to illustrate your points more effectively.
content
You provided a balanced view on the importance of both academic knowledge and moral understanding, showing critical thinking.
content
Your use of a real-life scenario as an example was effective in showcasing your teaching method; it engaged the reader's imagination.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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