Many people believe that watching a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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According to
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some, they believe that watching a live
performance
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is more enjoyable,
while
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
think is watching the same
event
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on
televison
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television
is less, i will discuss both
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opinion
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opinions
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and give my honest
opinion
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with examples in
this
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essay. On
one
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the one
show examples
hand, there
are
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is
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no denying that
alost
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a lot
almost
of
pepole
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people
enjoy
live
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the live
a live
show examples
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performance
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performances
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on
T
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.
V
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and find it much
Correct quantifier usage
more entertainment
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entertainment
Replace the word
entertaining
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than watching the same
event
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on television , the idea of
live
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a live
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performance
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is to give
the
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apply
show examples
people the feeling they are watching something new
to
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apply
show examples
them and not repeated
event
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or story,
such
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as
T
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.
V
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show
calld
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called
UK got talent or in any region the preform in , that's is the main
i
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I
show examples
dea in my
opinion
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about
this
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live
preformance
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performance
and to give them the
sence
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sense
science
that is
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a live view not recorded.
However
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,
in
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on
show examples
the other hand , there are some
pepole
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people
think
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who think
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watching some
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event
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events
show examples
on
T
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.
V
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they are less enjoyable
as
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than
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
watching
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watched
show examples
series on
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T.
Correct your spelling
TV
V
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, maybe because
it
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they
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contain
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contains
show examples
recoreded
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recorded
sean or sometimes
have
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has
show examples
that feeling of being real. In conclusion , both
of
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apply
show examples
live
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performance
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performances
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and events they stream on
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T.
Correct your spelling
TV
V
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are in my
opinion
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
enjoyable, and the main idea of watching something on
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T.
Correct your spelling
TV
V
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is to enjoy watching
and
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apply
show examples
the most thing that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
enjoyed
with is
Verb problem
most
show examples
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Add an article
an event
the event
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event
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events
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on
T
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.
V
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it contain different
kind
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kinds
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of
story
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stories
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also
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have different genre and each one of them
contain
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contains
show examples
diffreant
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different
type of films or
acctors
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actors
,
while
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live
performance
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give
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gives
show examples
the
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them
show examples
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
feeling of being more realistic.

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task achievement
Make sure to clarify your opinion clearly in the introduction and ensure it aligns throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use transitional phrases to improve the flow of your arguments. This will help connect your ideas more fluidly.
task achievement
Expand on your examples. Providing specific instances or more detailed descriptions will enhance your argument.
content
Your understanding of the topic and the effort to present both sides of the argument is commendable!

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • live performance
  • unique and energetic
  • sense of community
  • screen
  • editing
  • post-production
  • authentic experience
  • convenience
  • visibility
  • real-time commentary
  • expert analysis
  • understanding and appreciation
  • prohibitive
  • accessible option
  • wider audiences
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