IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Despite progress in farming, numerous individuals globally continue to experience starvation.Two fundamental problems lie
on
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in
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 inefficient
food
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 distribution
systems
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 and the devastating impact of climate change on
food
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 production.
This
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 essay will present the problem of all of
this
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 and a relevant solution for preventing
such
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 kind of issue. One major cause is the unequal distribution of
food
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.
While
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 some regions produce excessive
crops
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, others face shortages
due to
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 poor infrastructure, making it difficult to transport
food
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 to those in need.
For instance
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, many African countries have good farmland but still need to import basic foods. The main reason is poor infrastructure, they lack proper roads and cold storage to move and preserve their own
crops
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. At the same time, global trade
systems
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 , more focus on making money than helping local people. Large-scale farms grow
crops
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 for export,
while
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 small farmers struggle to sell their produce at fair prices.
This
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 leaves many places without enough
food
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, even their land could feed them. Higher temperatures, changing rain patterns and more extreme weather like storms and droughts are damaging
crops
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 around the world.
This
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 hurts small farmers the most, the people who grow most of our
food
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 but have little money to protect their farms. In Africa, long dry periods destroy harvests,
while
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 in Asia, floods wash away fields. Solutions require together global action. Improving infrastructure for storage and transport could dramatically reduce harvest losses. International aid should focus on building climate-resilient farming techniques,
such
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 as drought-resistant
crops
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 and provide efficient irrigation
systems
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.
To conclude
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, ending hunger is not just about producing more
food
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, but about creating
equlable
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equal
systems
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 that ensure everyone can benefit from agricultural advancements.

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task achievement
Your introduction sets a clear expectation for the essay, but consider adding specific phrases to improve clarity, such as outlining what the solutions will entail more precisely.
coherence
In your second paragraph, ensure that you connect the ideas smoothly. For example, when talking about infrastructure, clearly link how it relates to food production and distribution, possibly using transition words more effectively.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate on specific solutions further in your conclusion to reinforce your points. You can summarize the key problems and suggest further actions that could be taken.
task achievement
You have clearly identified significant reasons for food scarcity and provided relevant examples, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
coherence
The structure of your essay is logical and follows a clear framework, which is essential for reader comprehension.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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