Many people think that living in the city is better than living in the countryside. To what extent do you agree with this view? Minh Bui

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In
a
Correct article usage
the
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contemporary era, choosing a comfortable place to live is crucial. Some individuals believe that living in the countryside is better than living in the city.
In contrast
Linking Words
, others and I appreciate urban life because of some reasons. My perspective will be discussed thoroughly in the following paragraphs before presenting the conclusion.
Firstly
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, the most important factor is education because knowledge and awareness are essential in the Fourth Industrial Revolution.
For example
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, the school supplies and educational equipment in city schools are always available and more modern, making the teaching quality more effective and qualitative than those in rural areas which are limited,
lacking
Correct word choice
and lacking
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essential resources
such
Linking Words
as libraries and laboratories. These facilities may be lacking in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
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.
Secondly
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,
cities
Use synonyms
offer
variety
Add an article
a variety
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of entertainment options
such
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as cinemas, shopping malls and parks which help people relax after a busy and
exhausted
Replace the word
exhausting
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day in the
cities
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.
In addition
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, hospitals in
cities
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are well
equipment
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equipped
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with advanced medical technology which
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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efficient healthcare services compared to rural areas and high-skilled doctors and nurses.
For example
Linking Words
, when someone is injured in an emergency situation, they need to go to the nearest hospital and there are a lot of hospitals everywhere so living in
cities
Use synonyms
is more beneficial
while
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in faraway regions, there are fewer medical
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
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To
summary
Replace the word
summarise
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, because of the aforementioned reasons, living in urban areas will bring many benefits to people so I believe that the city is the most comfortable place to live.

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task achievement
The introduction could benefit from a clearer statement of your opinion regarding the extent to which you agree with the view. Consider restating your position more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your ideas and make connections between your points clearer. This can enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
In your body paragraphs, ensure that each main point is clearly supported by examples or explanations that directly relate to your argument. This will help strengthen your overall argument.
task achievement
You have presented a clear opinion about your preference for urban living, and your essay shows a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your use of examples, like the mention of hospitals and educational facilities, demonstrates an effort to support your points, which is commendable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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