IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The pictures show the changes of a park from 1980 to the present day.

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The maps illustrate the changes that have taken place in a
park
Use synonyms
 from 1980 to the present day.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the
park
Use synonyms
 has seen spectacular development. The principal change has been the removal of the boundary wall and the addition of a playground, chairs and a barbeque area. Looking at the maps in more detail, in 1980, the
park
Use synonyms
 was walled on all four sides, and accessible through two gates on the west and on the south. There were trees in the north-eastern corner and flowers in the south-eastern and south-western corners. A pond and benches were in the west. The
park
Use synonyms
 has undergone many changes. The flowers in the
south-western
Correct your spelling
southwestern
show examples
 corner are replaced with bushes,
while
Linking Words
 the playground has been built in place of the flowers in the
south-eastern
Correct your spelling
southeastern
show examples
 corner. The pond which is enclosed by benches remained at the same place. The trees
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the northeast side of the
park
Use synonyms
 have been replaced by picnic chairs, desks, and a barbecue.

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task achievement
Consider providing a more detailed overview of the changes to enhance the overall picture of the park's transformation.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the connection between sentences and paragraphs for smoother reading flow, particularly when transitioning between ideas.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or comparative phrases to emphasize the differences and changes observed in the park.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and overall summary of the changes in the park, which helps the reader understand the main points.
task achievement
The description of specific elements in the park, like the pond and playground, is well done, showcasing an understanding of the changes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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