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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart illustrates the difference between the number of local people in Europe in different age level who often go to the gym between 1990 to 2010.

The bar chart illustrates the difference between the number of local people in Europe in different age level who often go to the gym between 1990 to 2010.
The bar chart illustrates the difference between the number of local people in Europe in different
age
Use synonyms
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 who often go to the gym between 1990 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the
age
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 group from 44 to 53
years
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 old always emerged as the lowest, people at the
age
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 of 24 to 33 witnessed a reverse, considered the highest through 20
years
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 except in 2006. The
overall
Linking Words
 trend tended to increase
among
Change preposition
from
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 1990 to 2010, the adolescents witnessed a significant decline
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the beginning, the figures for the
age
Use synonyms
 groups between 24 to 33 started at approximately 17
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 and saw a moderate
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
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 to nearly 23
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 4
years
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 later before
fell
Wrong verb form
falling
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 to exactly 20
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, reaching
to
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apply
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the highest point
of
Change preposition
at
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 the end of the state. Following
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar trend,
bagun
Correct your spelling
begun
 at 15
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, the teenagers rose to a little more than 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and
then
Linking Words
 reached a peak at 25
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2006, after that it saw a substantial drop to
of
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apply
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nearly 23
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The statistics
of
Change preposition
for
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number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of people at 34 to 43 and 44 to 53
years
Use synonyms
 old have a stable trend in 1990 and 1994 with about 6
percent
Use synonyms
 and 5
percent
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 respectively. Meanwhile, the adults at 34
years
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 old stayed at 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 after went up gradually, the old reached
at
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apply
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a little more than 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "difference" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "a little more than" was used 2 times.
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