There is an increasing amount of advertising directed at children, encouraging them to buy toys and snacks. Many parents are worried that these advertisements put too much pressure on children, while some advertisements claim that they provide useful information to children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, most
of
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apply
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children
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often
spends
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spend
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more time
on
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apply
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watching TV,
therefor
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therefore
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, they are on
continouse
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continuous
continuously
expos
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exposure
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to
the
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apply
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advertisements.
However
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, many
houshoulds
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households
are concerned about the negative effects of
this
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matter, Meanwhile,
advertisments
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advertisements
believe that
children
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are
thought
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taught
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infromative
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informative
knowledge by
advertise
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advertising
show examples
. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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I will be discussing both views and give my opinion in the end. It is undeniable that
,
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apply
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children
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can be affected
negativly
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negatively
with
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by
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this
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type of
advertisment
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advertisement
advertising
. For many reasons, young age people are
influinced easliy
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influenced easily
by their
favorite
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favourite
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cartoon
charectar
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character
characters
toys
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. At some point, not all parents have the capacity to buy
great
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a great
the great
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number of
toys
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for their
children
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daily, as a
conseqences
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consequence
consequences
children
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may feel
ofended
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offended
by their parents for not
proviedinf
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providing
their desired
toys
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. For
instans
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instance
, my son was
influinced
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influenced
by some content creators
avdertising
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advertising
expensive
playstation
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playstations
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at that time, it was
beyound
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beyond
nt
capabability
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capability
to buy,
thus
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he went
on
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into
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depression for two weeks .
whereas
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, advertising
companeies
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companies
refuse to admit their wrong
influince
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influence
on
children
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. From my point of view
their
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there
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are no
benefitcial
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beneficial
out comes
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outcomes
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from
toys
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avertising
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advertising
,
futhermore
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furthermore
,
their
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there
show examples
is no evidence
upon
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of
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whats claimed
on
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in
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statements
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the statements
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. in conclusion,
children
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these days suffer from mental pressure
due to
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heavy numbers of
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toys
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toy
show examples
advertisments
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advertisements
which may lead to
sevear
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severe
deppretion
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depression
.
However
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, from my point of view
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toys
Fix the agreement mistake
toy
show examples
avetisments
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advertisements
has
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have
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negative
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a negative
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impact more than positive.

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language
Try to work on grammatical accuracy and spelling mistakes to improve clarity.
coherence
Ensure your arguments are presented in a structured manner; use paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas.
task achievement
Develop your ideas further to provide a more comprehensive discussion on both sides of the argument.
task achievement
You have identified both views regarding advertising to children, which is a good start for the discussion.
task achievement
Your personal example adds a relatable touch to your argument, making your essay more engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Materialism
  • Self-esteem
  • Peer pressure
  • Obesity
  • Creativity
  • Eating habits
  • Educational value
  • Moderating influence
  • Marketing strategies
  • Unhealthy snacks
What to do next:
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