IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Population in cities is growing rapidly. What are the effects of it? What solution can you give to maintain a good quality of life in urban areas

Nowadays, in many parts of the world
cities
Use synonyms
 are becoming overcrowded. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, the effects in terms of jobs and environmental issues, and solutions in terms of supporting businesses and environmentally friendly ways will be explored. One of the main
problems
Use synonyms
 of rapid growth in
city’s
Correct article usage
a city’s
show examples
 population is finding a job. In many
Use synonyms
cities
Add a comma
cities,
show examples
 job opportunities are not increasing as fast as the population is growing.
Thus
Linking Words
, unemployment would be a major issue for
people
Use synonyms
 which can lead to many consequences including illegal activities
such
Linking Words
 as theft. Other than that, environmental
problems
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 another issue which should be considered. In overcrowded
cities
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 excessive waste production by
people
Use synonyms
 and plenty of vehicles the risk of environmental pollution is high. Other than that, because many individuals work in factories and other industrialized places in town the amount of contamination might become even higher. The air and water will be contaminated by substances released from using fossil fuels and municipal wastes. One of the most effective ways to overcome unemployment is
giving
Change preposition
by giving
show examples
 low-interest loans to low-income
people
Use synonyms
 to start businesses.
This
Linking Words
 could increase job opportunities and boost the economy in
short-term
Correct article usage
the short-term
show examples
. In the long-term not only these small businesses’ profits will increase, but
people
Use synonyms
’s tendency towards illegal actions
of generating
Change preposition
to generate
show examples
 income will decrease. To deal with environmental
problems
Use synonyms
 the best option is encouraging
people
Use synonyms
 to use fewer cars and
also
Linking Words
 recyclable items which are less dangerous to the environment. To add more, moving factories to suburban regions and filtering their
wastages
Fix the agreement mistake
wastage
show examples
 could be another important way. In conclusion, the number of
habitants
Correct your spelling
inhabitants
show examples
 in
cities
Use synonyms
 is on the rise.
This
Linking Words
 is leading to many
problems
Use synonyms
 including fewer jobs and environmental
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
. Giving loans to
people
Use synonyms
 to run their own businesses and encouraging them to consume less fuel are convenient options to decrease these
problems
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider ensuring that each point is developed with sufficient detail and examples to fully support your main argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly link sentences and paragraphs to improve the flow of ideas throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a greater variety of vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance your writing style.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt well and presents relevant issues stemming from urban population growth.
task achievement
There is a clear attempt to provide solutions, making it practical and actionable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overcrowding
  • Infrastructure strain
  • Public services
  • Housing shortages
  • Living costs
  • Pollution
  • Environmental degradation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Job market saturation
  • Unemployment
  • Urbanization
  • Sustainable development
  • Green spaces
  • Public transport efficiency
  • Affordable housing
  • Waste management
  • Renewable energy
  • Quality of life
  • Economic opportunities
  • Healthcare accessibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: