The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider, the rich are getting richer, the poor even more poor. What problems can the situation cause and suggest solutions.

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It is indubitable that the gap between the affluent and the needy has widened.

This

Linking Words

essay intends to analyse the problems caused by

this

Linking Words

phenomenon and suggest ways to mitigate the problems. The most significant problem is that a vicious cycle emerges from which the poor find it difficult to come out. In order to make both ends meet, both parents have to work for supplementary income and the children are left in the house, unattended. Their future becomes blurred, as they do not get quality education.

This

Linking Words

deprivation of the children is very high in ultra-poor families.

Furthermore

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, poverty and conditions resulting from poverty,

such

Linking Words

as lack of education

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

people to lawlessness and violence (e.g. robbery, theft, kidnapping, rape, murder, gang war, and drug addiction). Their pent-up desires for the finer things in life find a common outlet in the commission of crimes. The underdeveloped economies of Asia and even America are full of high crime rates

due to

Linking Words

poverty. Even countries

such

Linking Words

as Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Indonesia, and

Philippines

Correct article usage

the Philippines

show examples

face poverty-related evolution of these events. The solutions are not simple, but government

effort

Fix the agreement mistake

efforts

show examples

could improve

this

Linking Words

situation.

To begin

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with, luxuries should be taxed heavily. A balanced taxation should be there and penalties against tax fraud and evasion should be more severe. Free or highly subsidized education should be provided to the needy. The problem of youth unemployment should be dealt with by creating job opportunities. Self-employment should be encouraged by promoting small-scale industry. At the global level, international organizations,

such

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United

Correct article usage

the United

show examples

Nations and

World

Correct article usage

the World

show examples

Bank, should provide support to developing countries in both technical and financial fields enabling them to improve infrastructure and strengthen industries. Summing up, the increasing gap between the rich and the poor should not be ignored as it causes political and social instability in the country and effective steps should be taken to close

this

Linking Words

gap.

Submitted by aamenis on Fri Jan 26 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly introduces its main point, and use a variety of linking words to connect ideas not just within paragraphs but also across them for better coherence.

Task Achievement

Develop your main points further by providing more specific examples or data to support your arguments.

Task Achievement

When discussing solutions, ensure that you expand on how each solution directly addresses the problems mentioned, and consider presenting a brief explanation of the expected impact.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

315 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic disparity
crime rates
wealth inequality
social segregation
education gap
affluent
mortality rates
uneven access
hopelessness
disenfranchisement
progressive taxation
redistribute
quality education
social programs
economic disadvantage
higher wages
entrepreneurship

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The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider, the rich are getting richer, the poor even more poor. What problems can the situation cause and suggest solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some cities of the world, cars are replacing bicycles. However in some other cities, bicycles are replacing cars. What are the reasons for these two developments? In your opinion, which one is better?

Some people think that the teenagers should concentrate all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are best at or they are most interested in. To what extend do you agree?

To achieve personal happiness, the relationships we have with other people (friends, colleagues, family) are more essential than every other thing. Issues like wealth and occupations take the second place. Write to support this claim.

Many people believe that social network websites such as Facebook and Instagram, have had a huge negative impact on both individual and Society. To what extent do you agree?