It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions you can offer to deal with this situation?

A widely held view is that an upward trend in juvenile delinquency is caused by
violence
Use synonyms
in social media. Agreeing with the idea of finding it as one of the major causes, the essay suggests that governmental policy reforms could offer a solution. Worldwide, the increase in
teenagers'
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teenage'
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crime
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is observed
due to
Linking Words
various reasons. Clearly, one of them is
aggressive
Correct article usage
the aggressive
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actions they face in different places,
such
Linking Words
as educational institutions, social circles
as well as
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media. The psychological state of
children
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in the age group between 6-16 is very sensitive to the surrounding environment;
violence
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affects them in a negative way and has a serious impact on their future. Being hurt by
such
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situations, psychologically unstable
offsprings
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offspring
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see it as
Correct article usage
a triggers
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triggers
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trigger
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to commit
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crime
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crimes
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.
Moreover
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, facing
violence
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much in society
,
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apply
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converts it into something normal for people
instead
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of supposed extraordinary.
For instance
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, one of the most popular TV series launched in Turkey in 2012 called "Kurtlar Vadisi Pusu" turned shootings, murders and aggression
as well as
Linking Words
carrying weapons into something normal and natural; the
crime
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rate among
children
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and the young in that period of time increased by 32%.
Although
Linking Words
violence
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leads to
the
Correct article usage
an
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increase in the number of committed crimes by
children
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, the situation can be changed in a better way if governments implement appropriate policies. It is obvious that the majority of teenagers
needs
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need
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psychological support during that period of time owing to changes in both mental and physical well-being, which make them go through difficult times. If governments impose mandatory mental support for these individuals in all possible spheres of their lives starting with education and ending with family interaction, beneficial outcomes can be reached.
For example
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, in 2023, the Ministry of Justice and the Ministry of Health of the Republic of Azerbaijan initiated
the
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a
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joint project aimed at declining juvenile delinquency by supporting
mental
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the mental
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health of problematic teenagers and
ex offenders
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ex-offenders
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; the
crime
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has been decreasing by 42% by 2025.
To conclude
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, believing that
violence
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in the media causes the increase in
children
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committed
Wrong verb form
committing
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Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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, the essay offers governmental support as the key solution to the problem.

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task achievement
While your introduction clearly presents your stance, consider providing a brief overview of the main points you will discuss in the body paragraphs. This will give the reader a clearer preview of your essay structure.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains well-organized paragraphs, but transitions between some ideas could be smoother. Use linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'in addition') to connect your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
You presented relevant examples, such as the Turkish TV series, but make sure to clarify how they directly relate to your argument about juvenile crime. Stronger connections between examples and statements can enhance your support for the main points.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a well-reasoned argument supporting your viewpoint.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as statistics regarding juvenile delinquency and initiatives in Azerbaijan, adds strength to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes the arguments made in the essay and restates your position effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
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