IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In today’s digital age, social
media
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 platforms like Facebook and Twitter have become central to how young
people
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 connect and communicate.
While
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 some believe these tools bring
people
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 closer together, others argue they harm young
people
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’s ability to form real, personal
relationships
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. I believe that
although
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 social
media
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 has some clear benefits, its
overall
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 impact on young
people
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’s social development is more negative than positive. On one hand, social
media
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 allows users to stay in touch with friends and family, even across great distances. It
also
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 provides a way for young
people
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 to meet others with shared interests, join online communities, and access different opinions.
For example
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, teenagers who feel isolated in their local environment may find support or inspiration through online groups.
However
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, there are several downsides. Many young
people
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 now prefer texting and commenting online over speaking face-to-face, which can lead to weaker communication skills. Over time,
this
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 may reduce their ability to read body language, express emotions, or handle real-life conversations.
Additionally
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, social
media
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 often creates unrealistic expectations. Seeing idealized posts and images can make users feel inadequate or anxious about their own lives.
Furthermore
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, online conversations are often short and lack depth, making it harder to build strong, trusting
relationships
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. Without regular, personal interaction, it becomes difficult to form meaningful emotional bonds. In conclusion,
although
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 social
media
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 can help young
people
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 stay connected, it often limits their ability to develop strong personal
relationships
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. A balanced approach is needed—one that encourages young
people
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 to enjoy online communication without letting it replace real-life connection. True
relationships
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 require time, effort, and human presence—not just digital messages.

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task achievement
Include more specific examples to enhance the arguments, such as personal experiences or documented studies about social media's effects on young people.
coherence
Ensure that all paragraphs have a clear topic sentence to strengthen the logical flow and coherence throughout the essay.
coherence
Consider expanding on the conclusion to reiterate the main points and reinforce your viewpoint more strongly.
coherence
The introduction clearly outlines the main argument of the essay, setting a strong tone for the discussion.
task achievement
The use of contrast between the positive and negative effects of social media is well-balanced and effectively presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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