University should accept the equal number of male and female student in each subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement

In
this
modern world, there is a common notion that education enhances
skills
Correct article usage
the skills
show examples
of the population.
However
,
skills
can
also
be gained through
experience
.
This
causes a huge debate about whether educated
folks
are more valuable than the ones with
experience
.
However
, I believe both these
people
are important, as each one brings their own advantages to
society
.
Firstly
, educated
people
are valuable because they think big and create groundbreaking innovations.
For example
, some of the greatest scientists the world has ever seen, like Albert Einstein, Edison etc, were all well-educated
folks
. These studies helped them to think beyond the ordinary realm and
hence
, it has resulted in many innovations, which benefited mankind vastly.
Secondly
, well-studied
folks
can able to leverage their knowledge and use it for the betterment of their
society
.
For instance
, they can teach
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
underprivileged communities to utilize their skill sets.
Subsequently
, the
people
from the community can grow & self-sustain with the knowledge they
learnt
from them.
On the other hand
,
skills
learnt
through
experience
are important for human welfare as well. Many
skills
like social & public speaking
skills
can be
learnt
through
experience
.
This
can help in the evolution of a great leader.
For instance
, great leaders like Winston Churchill
learnt
the art of public speaking through regular practice.
Moreover
, these days with the help of computers, interested
folks
can learn complex programming by pure dedication & gaining
experience
.
Hence
, nowadays the scope of learning through
experience
is plenty, which can directly support
society
in many ways. So
to conclude
, both educated and experienced
people
are much needed for
society
. A person can be educated in a certain field, but the growth mindset to learn new concepts through
experience
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
would certainly take that individual to a higher strata of
society
.
Submitted by nusramkumar on

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task response
Your essay introduces a slightly different topic from the one provided. Make sure you address the specific question asked about the gender balance in university admissions. This misalignment might affect how your response is perceived in terms of directly answering the task
task response
Further develop your examples to directly support your points. When discussing educational and experiential learning, including specific examples related to gender balance in university subjects could have made your argument more pertinent to the topic
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure and the ideas flow well from one paragraph to the next. This creates coherence and aids the reader's understanding
coherence cohesion
Make use of topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly state what the paragraph will discuss. This strengthens the coherence of your essay
task response
You've demonstrated an ability to discuss a topic from multiple perspectives, showing an understanding of complexity in arguments
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, making your overall argument easy to follow

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