At present, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, the number of young generations in some countries is more than old
people
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.
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essay strongly agrees that there are more advantages than disadvantages. The elderly may not have the ability to have a positive
impact
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on the country.
However
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, young
people
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may have a significant
impact
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on the environment. Older individuals may have a limited capacity to contribute innovative ideas or activities to participate in urban development compared to younger generations.
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, they do need a lot of healthcare because they suffer from many diseases.
For example
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, in Italy, the proportion of older
people
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is significantly higher than that of younger
people
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, which explains the slower pace of architectural development.
Moreover
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, I believe that a higher proportion of
people
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aged 45 and above may slightly affect national development. One key advantage of millennials is their ability to bring vibrancy to cities through creativity.
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, they might have a positive
impact
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on the community with their ideas and energy.
Furthermore
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, the young population always have something to do or to create. One example of that
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is when younger generations in Italy had a greater influence over urban planning and cultural projects, they transformed the cities dramatically. And
that is
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what made Italy more well-known.
However
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, I believe that younger
people
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have a significant
impact
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on the environment. In conclusion, having a high number of youths can change life in the state and
also
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make the place more enjoyable.
However
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old
people
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can make the place warmer but still they cannot benefit the nation

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task achievement
Consider providing more balanced discussion by addressing disadvantages explicitly. This will strengthen your argument and provide a more nuanced view.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the transitions between ideas to enhance the flow of your essay. This can lead to better coherence.
task achievement
Clarify your main points with more specific examples and explanations for why they matter. This will help in establishing clear and comprehensive ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, which is commendable.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like the situation in Italy, adds depth to your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic shift
  • dependency ratio
  • economic growth
  • workforce
  • innovation
  • entrepreneurship
  • adaptability
  • job market
  • public services
  • education system
  • social tensions
  • unemployment
  • underemployment
  • economic burden
  • fresh ideas
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