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Band 6.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want on web or phone without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v3

6.5 / 9
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Introduction
It is argued that printed newspapers and
books
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 will no longer be bought in the future because
people
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 will be able to read all content for free on the internet or on their phones. I disagree with
this
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 statement because many
people
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 still prefer paper, and online content is unlikely to be completely free.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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, printed materials have advantages that digital devices cannot replace. Many readers feel that holding a real book is more enjoyable and less tiring for the eyes than looking at a screen for a long time.
For example
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, children who are learning to read often use picture
books
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, and parents prefer these to tablets because they want to limit their children’s screen time.
In addition
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,
books
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 are popular as gifts and as collections, so
people
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 will continue to buy them.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
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, it is unrealistic to expect that everything online will be free. Writers, journalists and publishers need money to produce good quality work. If readers do not pay, these companies cannot survive.
This
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 is why many news websites already ask for a subscription, and e-
books
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 are sold at a price.
As a result
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,
people
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 will still have to pay for reading, either for digital or for printed versions.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 the number of
people
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 reading online will probably grow, I do not believe that printed newspapers and
books
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 will disappear completely, because many
people
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 prefer paper
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 digital content is not free.

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Task response
Your clear view is given at the start and kept to the end. To make it even stronger, say more about why print may still be bought even when free online reading is easy to get.
Task response
Your two main ideas are good: people like paper, and online work costs money. Add one more clear detail about printed newspapers, not only books, so the answer covers both parts of the topic in a more even way.
Task response
The example about children and screen time is useful and fits your point. You could add a short real-life example for paid news sites, such as a news site that lets people read only some stories for free.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear shape: opening, two body parts, and ending. Each body part has one main idea, so it is easy to follow.
Coherence and cohesion
The links between ideas are clear, especially “Firstly”, “Secondly”, “For example”, and “As a result”. Try to use a few different linking words as well, such as “Also”, “However”, or “For this reason”, so the flow feels less fixed.
Coherence and cohesion
The ending repeats your main view well. You can make it more direct by saying that print will become less common, but it will not fully go away.
Task response
You answer the question fully and clearly state that you disagree.
Task response
Your ideas stay close to the topic, and your reasons are easy to understand.
Coherence and cohesion
The main points are in a good order, with one paragraph on paper reading and one on the cost of online work.
Coherence and cohesion
Your opening and ending match well, which gives the essay a clear overall shape.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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