IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some cultures, ambition is thought to be a good quality. Is it important to be ambitious? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

In many parts of the world, ambition is often held in high regard, with
individuals
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 having ambitious
goals
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 often being praised and celebrated. I do believe that it is important for
people
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 to be ambitious, and it is a positive personal trait
,
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apply
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 when exercised within reasonable boundaries. It has to be acknowledged that having certain ambitions provides
people
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 with a sense of direction in
life
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.
This
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 can be seen in the way unemployed
individuals
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 who contentedly live off of unemployment benefits usually feel lost and end up engaging in unproductive activities
such
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 as watching TV all day, gossiping, and committing minor crimes
such
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 as vandalism, ultimately causing trouble for themselves, their families and their communities as a whole.
However
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, sociologists, psychologists and psychoanalysts have conclusively found that if
such
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individuals
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 set out certain
goals
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 for themselves, they can usually turn their lives around and become productive members of society.
This
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 is a testament to the importance of striving to obtain certain achievements or milestones in one's
life
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. I am convinced that ambition is generally a positive characteristic
,
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apply
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 if employed within sensible limits. Of course, there are cases where some
individuals
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 try to achieve impossible
goals
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, leading to mental,
physical
Correct word choice
and physical
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 exhaustion, psychological problems
such
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 as anxiety and depression, lower self-esteem and even suicidal thoughts.
However
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, under normal circumstances, ambition is utilized in a responsible manner, it encourages
people
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 to strive for greatness and achieve more in
life
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.
For example
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, students who want to top their class tend to be more focused and attain better academic results than their less academically driven peers.
Similarly
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, athletes who wish to break the world's record in their sports have more motivation to practice and compete. Even if they do not succeed in setting a new
world's
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world
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 record, their ability usually ends up being far superior
than
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to
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 those without
such
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 an ambitious aspiration. These are just two among countless other examples showing the positive results that stem from pursuing ambitious
goals
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 in
life
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. In conclusion, it is of great importance that
people
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 establish certain
goals
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 for themselves in
life
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, and being ambitious is predominantly a positive personal quality, especially when exploited properly

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structure
The introduction effectively states your position and introduces the topic of ambition. The conclusion summarizes your main points well, though it could be made slightly more robust by reiterating the significance of ambition in a broader context.
support
Your main points are relevant, and you do an excellent job of supporting them with examples. However, you should ensure that the examples are clearly linked back to the main argument to enhance the overall clarity. For instance, explicitly stating how the examples support the positive nature of ambition could deepen the analysis.
depth
Consider balancing the discussion on negative aspects of ambition. While it's great to acknowledge potential downsides, a more in-depth exploration of the impacts of ambition on a broader scale, including societal impacts, would strengthen your argument.
style
The essay is well-structured, with clear paragraphs and a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of ambition, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
language
Your use of varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures demonstrates a good command of the language, which enhances the readability of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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