IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

this diagram shows the brick manufactureing process

this diagram shows the brick manufactureing process
The diagram illustrates the process of brick production. The process can be divided into six major stages, beginning with
excavation
Correct article usage
the excavation
show examples
 of clay and
concuding
Correct your spelling
concluding
 with the delivery of finished
bricks
Use synonyms
. After the clay
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 been gone through the metal
gril
Correct your spelling
grill
grid
 and the roller,
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 broke it into smaller pieces, it
mixed
Add a missing verb
was mixed
show examples
 with sand and water. The resulting mass is
then
Linking Words
 formed into
bricks
Use synonyms
 in two different ways:
eather
Correct your spelling
either
 by using a mould or by cutting it with a wire cutter.
Folowing
Correct your spelling
Following
this
Linking Words
, the formed
bricks
Use synonyms
 are placed into a drying oven, where they remain for one to two days. Once dried, the
bricks
Use synonyms
do trough
Correct your spelling
go through
show examples
 a heating process in two kilns: first at
Correct article usage
a
show examples
moderate temperature, and
then
Linking Words
 at
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 temperature
Change preposition
of
show examples
870-1300 degrees. After firing, the
bricks
Use synonyms
 are transferred to a cooling chamber, where they stay for 48 to 72
houres
Correct your spelling
hours
show examples
.
Next,
Linking Words
the
brickes
Correct your spelling
bricks
 are packaged, and
Linking Words
finally
Add a comma
finally,
show examples
 they are loaded into tack for delivery.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words bricks with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: