With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree

Some argued that untouched space should be investigated to fulfil the growing demand for fossil
fuels
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.
Although
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oil
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and gas mining could help to meet the need, it
also
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causes
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has
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a detrimental impact on the environment. I completely disagree with
this
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statement for several reasons, which are explained
further
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with suitable explanations and examples. First and foremost, environmental damage is a major concern. Many of the unexplored areas—
such
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as the Arctic, rainforests, and deep-sea environments—are ecologically sensitive. Exploring and extracting fossil
fuels
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in these regions can cause irreversible harm, including
oil
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spills, habitat destruction, and a loss of biodiversity.
Moreover
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,
such
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actions can
also
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violate human rights. Many of these untouched areas are home to Indigenous peoples and local communities who depend on the land for their survival and cultural identity. Drilling operations can displace these communities and pollute the air, soil, and water.
For instance
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, a survey conducted in Japan revealed that over 90% of environmental pollution is caused by the demand for fossil
fuels
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, leading to problems like deforestation and the release of toxic gases into the atmosphere. Moving
further
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, relying on non-renewable energy sources goes against global efforts to combat climate change. The world is already experiencing the harmful effects of global warming, including rising sea levels, melting glaciers, and extreme weather events. Continued use of fossil
fuels
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only adds to
this
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crisis, making the situation more dangerous for future generations.
In addition
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, the extraction of
oil
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and gas is extremely costly and can have serious health impacts on nearby communities. People living close to drilling sites often suffer from asthma, lung diseases, and contaminated drinking water.
For example
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, research conducted by a nearby university found that pollution-related health issues increased by over 70% following the introduction of hydrocarbon
fuels
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in the area. In conclusion, opening undiscovered areas for
oil
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and gas removal is not a wise solution to meet energy demands. It harms the environment, risks human health, and delays our shift to cleaner, renewable energy.
Instead
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of focusing on short-term gains, we should invest in sustainable alternatives that protect the planet and ensure a better future for the next generation.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear position against the exploration of untouched areas for fossil fuels and provides valid arguments for your viewpoint. However, make sure each paragraph explicitly links back to your main argument to enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your ideas are logically structured, consider using more transitional phrases to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs. This will help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points. To further strengthen your argument, consider including a wider range of examples or statistics that are directly tied to your claims about pollution and health risks.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position and supporting it with well-explained reasons and examples.
Task Achievement
There are strong arguments presented, particularly regarding environmental damage and health risks, which adds credibility to your position.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global demand
  • finite resources
  • energy consumption
  • exploiting
  • untouched ecosystems
  • carbon emissions
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable energy solutions
  • geopolitical consequences
  • territorial disputes
  • dependency
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