Some people say a person’s success in adult life is the result of the way they were brought up as a child by their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that a person’s success in adult life is primarily shaped by the way they were raised by their parents during childhood.
While
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parental influence is undoubtedly important in early development, I disagree with the statement as other factors
such
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as education and social environment
also
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have a significant impact on individual success in the future.
Firstly
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,
although
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parents help shape a child’s foundational values and behaviours, their influence tends to diminish once the child enters formal education. From the age of six to early adulthood, most individuals spend a considerable portion of their time at school. Educational institutions not only teach academic knowledge but
also
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embed essential character traits like, discipline, resilience and empathy.
For instance
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, many renowned individuals have graduated from competitive schools and universities known for their rigorous academic standards, which have contributed greatly to their personal and professional development.
Lastly
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, environmental influences,
likewise
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peer groups, mentors and social media play crucial roles in shaping a person’s mindset and choices. Humans are inherently social beings and are often influenced by the behaviours and attitudes of their surroundings. These external influences can encourage individuals to either positive or negative habits, regardless of their upbringing.
For example
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, someone with highly educated parents may still struggle in adulthood if they fall into a wrong social circle. In conclusion,
while
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good parenting provides a solid foundation in a child’s early years, it is not the sole factor that determines success in adulthood. Education, peer influence and the broader social environment
also
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have a profound impact on a person’s development and achievement later in life.

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task achievement
Consider adding a specific example of a well-known individual who achieved success despite a challenging upbringing to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
In the first paragraph, you may want to clarify the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement at the beginning, as it can provide a clearer stance for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure all your points are equally developed to maintain balance in the argument. Perhaps elaborating a little more on environmental influences would enhance the overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a strong introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarizes your points.
task achievement
You presented a balanced argument by considering both parental influence and external factors in a person's success.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • upbringing
  • values
  • work ethic
  • interpersonal skills
  • educational opportunities
  • prioritize
  • emotional support
  • resilience
  • confidence
  • challenges
  • individual choices
  • external factors
  • personal motivation
  • societal influences
  • obstacles
  • determination
  • hard work
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