Nowadays, many people choose to watch sports on television, rather than to take part in sports themselves. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In recent years, it has become increasingly common for people to prefer watching
sports
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on television
instead
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of actively participating in them.
While
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this
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trend may offer some conveniences
but
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apply
show examples
, I believe it is largely a negative development
due to
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its impact on
health
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and social engagement.
To begin
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with, one major disadvantage of just watching
sports
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is the decline in physical activity. Regular exercise is important for maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and preferring to sit for hours in front of a screen
instead
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of taking part in physical
sport
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sports
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can lead to
health
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problems
such
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as obesity, heart disease, and poor mental
health
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.
For example
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, many individuals who once played
sports
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in local parks have now adopted a more inactive routine, resulting in weight gain and a decrease in their
overall
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fitness.
Moreover
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, participating in
sports
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encourages important social and personal skills. It teaches teamwork, discipline, and determination,
while
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also
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offering opportunities for social interaction. Watching
sports
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,
on the other hand
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, is mostly passive and does not provide the same benefits. Children and young adults,
in particular
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, may miss out on crucial developmental experiences if they are not encouraged to play
sports
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. That being said, watching
sports
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is not completely without advantages . It can be an enjoyable form of relaxation and can even inspire viewers to take up a sport.
However
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, when it becomes a replacement for actual participation, the long-term consequences are mostly negative. In conclusion,
while
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watching
sports
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on television may be entertaining and convenient
but
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apply
show examples
the permanent shift away from active participation is a negative development. It is essential to encourage people, to be physically active for the well-being of their
health
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and personal development.

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Task achievement
You provided a clear position throughout the essay, which is good. However, try to expand on your ideas more fully to provide a more comprehensive response.
Coherence and cohesion
Your ideas follow a logical structure, which aids in clarity, but you could improve paragraph transitions to enhance the flow of your arguments and connect your ideas more effectively.
Task achievement
You cited relevant examples, but including more specific and varied examples could strengthen your arguments further and enhance your essay's persuasiveness.
Coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents your stance on the topic, setting a strong foundation for your argument.
Task achievement
You successfully identified key disadvantages of watching sports as your main points, which are relevant to the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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