Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education. Do you agree or disagree?
In the modern world, many governments pay attention and raise their taxes on buildings like theatres and sports
facilities
. But some people argue that they should spend more budget on healthcare
and the education
system
. I strongly agree with this
idea the government
should establish medical and education
facilities
rather than entertainment buildings.
There are many reasons for spending money on the healthcare
system
. Firstly
, nowadays many countries
are age society, thus
the government
pays attention to this
phenomenon by establishing more hospitals. However
, when they have more hospitals, they must increase their staff such
as doctors or nurses to support their patients. Moreover
, healthcare
is an important business sector
in some countries
like Korea or Thailand, because the trend of plastic surgery is dramatically rising.
Additionally
, the education
system
plays a crucial role for countries
development. when the government
spends taxes on education
systems like schools or universities, this
emerges the improvement of knowledge. For example
, some universities can not teach new innovations or new technology if they do not have facilities
such
as a robotics arm. Hence
if they have facilities
their students can learn from it. Furthermore
, research is a key factor for country enhancement, when the government
raises more money to
Change preposition
for
this
sector
, it encourages high performance
researchers to research the global interest topic. which can generate new technology from Add a hyphen
high-performance
this
sector
.
To conclude
, when the government
pays attention to the healthcare
and education
system
, they would
have more country efficiency than spend money on building entertainment. I believe medical and Wrong verb form
will
education
is the important sector
for countries
.Submitted by kungslowjam on
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task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement in the introduction to pinpoint your stance and what the essay will cover. This offers better guidance to the reader.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to smoothly connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Introduce your main points in the introduction and summarize them in the conclusion for a stronger structure and recap of your argument.
task achievement
Incorporate more detailed, relevant examples to support your main points. This adds depth to your arguments and demonstrates a broader understanding of the topic.