Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #theatres #sports #stadiums #care #education

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In the modern world, many governments pay attention and raise their taxes on buildings like theatres and sports

facilities

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. But some people argue that they should spend more budget on

healthcare

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and the

education

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system

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. I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

idea the

government

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should establish medical and

education

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facilities

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rather than entertainment buildings. There are many reasons for spending money on the

healthcare

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system

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Firstly

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, nowadays many

countries

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are age society,

thus

Linking Words

the

government

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pays attention to

this

Linking Words

phenomenon by establishing more hospitals.

However

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, when they have more hospitals, they must increase their staff

such

Linking Words

as doctors or nurses to support their patients.

Moreover

Linking Words

healthcare

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is an important business

sector

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in some

countries

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like Korea or Thailand, because the trend of plastic surgery is dramatically rising.

Additionally

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, the

education

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system

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plays a crucial role for

countries

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development. when the

government

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spends taxes on

education

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systems like schools or universities,

this

Linking Words

emerges the improvement of knowledge.

For example

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, some universities can not teach new innovations or new technology if they do not have

facilities

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such

Linking Words

as a robotics arm.

Hence

Linking Words

if they have

facilities

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their students can learn from it.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, research is a key factor for country enhancement, when the

government

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raises more money

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

Linking Words

sector

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, it encourages

high performance

Add a hyphen

high-performance

show examples

researchers to research the global interest topic. which can generate new technology from

this

Linking Words

sector

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To conclude

Linking Words

, when the

government

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pays attention to the

healthcare

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and

education

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system

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, they

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

have more country efficiency than spend money on building entertainment. I believe medical and

education

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is the important

sector

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for

countries

Use synonyms

Submitted by kungslowjam on Mon Mar 25 2024

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task achievement

Ensure a clear thesis statement in the introduction to pinpoint your stance and what the essay will cover. This offers better guidance to the reader.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to smoothly connect ideas within and between paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Introduce your main points in the introduction and summarize them in the conclusion for a stronger structure and recap of your argument.

task achievement

Incorporate more detailed, relevant examples to support your main points. This adds depth to your arguments and demonstrates a broader understanding of the topic.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Agree or disagree.

In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on social relationtips. To what extent do you agree or disagree?