Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education. Do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world, many governments pay attention and raise their taxes on buildings like theatres and sports
facilities
. But some people argue that they should spend more budget on
healthcare
and the
education
system
. I strongly agree with
this
idea the
government
should establish medical and
education
facilities
rather than entertainment buildings. There are many reasons for spending money on the
healthcare
system
.
Firstly
, nowadays many
countries
are age society,
thus
the
government
pays attention to
this
phenomenon by establishing more hospitals.
However
, when they have more hospitals, they must increase their staff
such
as doctors or nurses to support their patients.
Moreover
,
healthcare
is an important business
sector
in some
countries
like Korea or Thailand, because the trend of plastic surgery is dramatically rising.
Additionally
, the
education
system
plays a crucial role for
countries
development. when the
government
spends taxes on
education
systems like schools or universities,
this
emerges the improvement of knowledge.
For example
, some universities can not teach new innovations or new technology if they do not have
facilities
such
as a robotics arm.
Hence
if they have
facilities
their students can learn from it.
Furthermore
, research is a key factor for country enhancement, when the
government
raises more money
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
sector
, it encourages
high performance
Add a hyphen
high-performance
show examples
researchers to research the global interest topic. which can generate new technology from
this
sector
.
To conclude
, when the
government
pays attention to the
healthcare
and
education
system
, they
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
have more country efficiency than spend money on building entertainment. I believe medical and
education
is the important
sector
for
countries
.
Submitted by kungslowjam on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement in the introduction to pinpoint your stance and what the essay will cover. This offers better guidance to the reader.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to smoothly connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Introduce your main points in the introduction and summarize them in the conclusion for a stronger structure and recap of your argument.
task achievement
Incorporate more detailed, relevant examples to support your main points. This adds depth to your arguments and demonstrates a broader understanding of the topic.

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