Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education. Do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern world, many governments pay attention and raise their taxes on buildings like theatres and sports
facilities
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. But some people argue that they should spend more budget on
healthcare
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and the
education
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system
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. I strongly agree with
this
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idea the
government
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should establish medical and
education
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facilities
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rather than entertainment buildings. There are many reasons for spending money on the
healthcare
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system
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.
Firstly
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, nowadays many
countries
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are age society,
thus
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the
government
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pays attention to
this
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phenomenon by establishing more hospitals.
However
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, when they have more hospitals, they must increase their staff
such
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as doctors or nurses to support their patients.
Moreover
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,
healthcare
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is an important business
sector
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in some
countries
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like Korea or Thailand, because the trend of plastic surgery is dramatically rising.
Additionally
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, the
education
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system
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plays a crucial role for
countries
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development. when the
government
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spends taxes on
education
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systems like schools or universities,
this
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emerges the improvement of knowledge.
For example
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, some universities can not teach new innovations or new technology if they do not have
facilities
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such
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as a robotics arm.
Hence
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if they have
facilities
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their students can learn from it.
Furthermore
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, research is a key factor for country enhancement, when the
government
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raises more money
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
sector
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, it encourages
high performance
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high-performance
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researchers to research the global interest topic. which can generate new technology from
this
Linking Words
sector
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.
To conclude
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, when the
government
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pays attention to the
healthcare
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and
education
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system
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, they
would
Wrong verb form
will
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have more country efficiency than spend money on building entertainment. I believe medical and
education
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is the important
sector
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for
countries
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.
Submitted by kungslowjam on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement in the introduction to pinpoint your stance and what the essay will cover. This offers better guidance to the reader.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to smoothly connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Introduce your main points in the introduction and summarize them in the conclusion for a stronger structure and recap of your argument.
task achievement
Incorporate more detailed, relevant examples to support your main points. This adds depth to your arguments and demonstrates a broader understanding of the topic.
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