IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is undeniable that in the present era, more and more individuals believe that employers
work
Use synonyms
 a short time and provide them with long vacations. From my perspective, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon because people accomplish physical and mental goals.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore the reasons behind
this
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 risk by providing relevant examples and insights to support my viewpoint. On the one hand, working short days plays a crucial role in modern society. The principal cause of
this
Linking Words
 situation is physical performance. To illustrate more, numerous people
work
Use synonyms
 as a shift which assists them to be more healthy. In fact,
this
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 leads to avoiding several diseases like high pressure and lack of a heartbeat.
For example
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, a study at the University of Nizwa indicated that a lot of individuals who
work
Use synonyms
 as doctors in administration have sharply health. Compared with doctors who
work
Use synonyms
 whole days, they suffer from heart and surgery diseases.
Thus
Linking Words
, members of communities need to refresh their bodies to achieve a variety of goals.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is no doubt that the nations who notice mental field is essential to
work
Use synonyms
 few days.
Hence
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, the residents boost
this
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 view because
this
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 event has benefits to deep thinking around
work
Use synonyms
 and making correct decisions.
For instance
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, the Omani Educational Association showed approximately 85% of employees acquire different skills in a short time,
by contrast
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, others have challenges in achieving skills.
As a result
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, the citizens will raise their performance in
work
Use synonyms
 short time. In conclusion, I am convinced
this
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 argument is a significant part of modern life and has some challenges.
However
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, I totally agree that the issue has advantages in physical and mental aspects.
Therefore
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, the government should encourage their residents to balance between
work
Use synonyms
 and lifestyle.
In addition
Linking Words
, the benefits are not limited to individuals only but
also
Linking Words
 have a profound impact on society.

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task achievement
Consider improving the clarity of your thesis statement by explicitly stating the advantages of a shorter working week.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Using linking words can enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Try to provide additional relevant examples or data to strengthen your arguments, especially when discussing the impacts of a shorter working week.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, and you introduced well-defined arguments to support your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
You provided an effective conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint and highlights the broader impact on society.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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