IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

I many places, new homes needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is omre important to protect the coutryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?

It
it
Correct your spelling
is
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 observed that recently there is an increased demand for building new houses but the only place available to construct them is
on
Change preposition
in
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 the countryside.
Due to
Linking Words
this
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 situation, some people bring forward the idea of discouraging
this
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 development as it is important to conserve the land surrounding the city area. In my opinion, I agree to not start construction anywhere else but rather reuse the space within the residency.
Firstly
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, starting a new project like building
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
 for people is
extremly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 expensive and henceforth the authorities should use
this
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 money to demolish old residencies and plan a new space to provide
living
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a living
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 to
maximum
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a maximum
the maximum
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 number of citizens.
In addition
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 to
this
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, the leftover money could be funded towards
development
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the development
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 of hospitals, parks and tourist spots which will eventually help increase the economy.
Secondly
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, creating something new, like multiple houses, will have a huge impact on the flora and fauna surrounding the area. The noise and air pollution will be enough to kill hundreds of birds and destroy thousands of trees that are home to many animal species.
For instance
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,
Gurugram
Correct article usage
the Gurugram
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 city council decided to remove acres of plants from the Aravalli hills to create fancy apartments but
this
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 reportedly killed 10,000 stray animals like cows, dogs,
deers
Fix the agreement mistake
deer
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 and many more. In conclusion, the
ever growing
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ever-growing
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 demand for new housing is never going to stop but everyone needs to understand the serious toll these projects take on the treasury of the city alongside the fauna.
Therefore
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, it is necessary to take action and not touch the area surrounding urban livelihoods.

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task achievement
Ensure the introduction clearly outlines your opinion more explicitly, providing a direct response to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Connect your ideas more clearly with cohesive devices, such as linking phrases (e.g., 'Moreover', 'Furthermore').
task achievement
Provide a stronger conclusion that reinforces your main argument and summarizes your points effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Good structure by presenting clear points in separate paragraphs.
task achievement
Relevant examples that illustrate your argument about the ecological impact of new housing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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