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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summariae the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summariae the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The first line graph compares the proportion of
housholds
Correct your spelling
households
 in terms of six kinds of electrical appliances between 1920 and 2019,
while
Linking Words
 the second graph describes the average time they spent on housework.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there was an increasing trend in the number of washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
,
Use synonyms
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
, and vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, the number of hours continuously decreased. Looking at the
frist
Correct your spelling
first
 chart in more
deatil
Correct your spelling
detail
, the figure for
Use synonyms
Add an article
the refrigerator
show examples
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 was the lowest in 1920, with nearly 8%, but it reached its peak at 100% over a 60-year period. In
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 39 years, the percentages
maintained
Verb problem
remained
show examples
 at the same level.
Moreover
Linking Words
, after 2000, every family must
had
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a vacuum cleaner, which had the same situation
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
Use synonyms
refrigerator
Correct article usage
a refrigerator
show examples
. In 1920, the proportion of washing
machin
Correct your spelling
machine
 was the highest, about 40%.
However
Linking Words
, it was surpassed by
Use synonyms
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 around 1945, and
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
overtaken by vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 in 1960. About the second line graph, the amount of time consistently
delinced
Correct your spelling
declined
delinked
, standing at 10
hour
Change to a plural noun
hours
show examples
 per week in 2019.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words refrigerator with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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