IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is no denying the fact that
railways
Use synonyms
 are more important than roads, all kinds of people use
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
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 and the train is the face of the country for tourists and travellers, if the government want to have a good experience for the public they need to spend more money on
railways
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
railway
Add an article
the railway
show examples
is has
Change the verb form
has
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 different uses
for example
Linking Words
 delivery or travel
also
Linking Words
 it is the first thing
that is
Linking Words
 used by tourists because it convenient and easy to
usage
Replace the word
use
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, and that will help economic growth and improve the infrastructure of the city,
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 if we did a study on the
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 in
malayisa
Correct your spelling
Malaysia
 we will find that community use the train more
then
Linking Words
 a car so
that is
Linking Words
importent
Correct your spelling
important
 to
foucs
Correct your spelling
focus
 on the
railways
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
railways
Use synonyms
 will reduce the traffic in the country because
community
Add an article
the community
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 always chooses the easy way to travel which is the
railways
Use synonyms
 t can reduce traffic congestion, leading to less time spent in traffic and lower levels of stress,
for instance
Linking Words
, trains can hold hundreds of people in one time rather than
a
Remove the article
apply
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one car can only take 5 to 6 person . In conclusion,
railways
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
most
Rephrase
more
show examples
 used
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 roads from hundreds of years ago, and that makes people more comfortable with them, if the government know how to use them that will grow their economy.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to fully explain your main points and how they support your argument. Some ideas can be expanded for clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and spelling to improve the overall clarity of your writing. This includes correcting small errors that can distract from your message.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve transitions between ideas to enhance the flow of your essay. This will help the reader follow your arguments more easily.
Task Achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your argument about the usefulness of railways.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear viewpoint on the topic, which is important for a persuasive argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
What to do next:
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