Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than other people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it's unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many years ago
people
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created a lot of different
professions
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which are obviously so popular
till
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apply
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these days. In the present age,
whether
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apply
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many
sports
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professionals have better financial success than other
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professions
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professional
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people
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. The primary factor we need to take into consideration is that many basketball, football, tennis and other
sports
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experts earn extremely huge financial remuneration because they do those
sports
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professionally.
However
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, why is
this
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the case? Many other
professions
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are more important in society,
for example
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, medical staff, teachers or police
people
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. Those
people
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do much more valuable work than physical work. They save human life, learn mathematics, history,
languages
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and languages
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and
also
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protect humanity, which is a more important tant play.
In contrast
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, those
sports
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pro
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pros
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sacrifice health, family time, work-life balance and so on.
Linking Words
Also
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Also,
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they spend a lot of time training and becoming the best of the best ones. It says that
sports
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professionals live in
sports
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places like
gym
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gyms
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, training
playground
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playgrounds
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and
court
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courts
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. Which is kind of justified why they get paid
such
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enormous wages. Undeniably, everyone has their own opinion about
this
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topic and
that is
Linking Words
fair because
people
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live in
democracy
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a democracy
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and they can have it. There are always two sides, one side says that
sports
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professionals get big money for nothing,
while
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the other says that
this
Linking Words
profession is harder emotionally and physically than others. I would assert that I prefer the view that the world has more important and valuable
professions
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than
sport
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sports
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and more money should be given to those who change our lives

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task achievement
Consider revising the introduction to clearly outline the two views you will discuss and your opinion on the matter. This helps set a clearer direction for the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that connects directly to the argument you are making, and try to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement. This will help convey your points more effectively.
task achievement
You have successfully identified both sides of the argument regarding sports professionals and their financial success, which is essential in a discussion essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial remuneration
  • exceptional
  • merit
  • talent
  • demand
  • entertainment value
  • career span
  • physical demands
  • justified
  • unfair
  • criticism
  • income inequality
  • societal priorities
  • sportsmanship
What to do next:
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