Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than other people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it's unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many years ago

people

Use synonyms

created a lot of different

professions

Use synonyms

which are obviously so popular

till

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these days. In the present age,

whether

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

many

sports

Use synonyms

professionals have better financial success than other

Use synonyms

professions

Replace the word

professional

show examples

people

Use synonyms

. The primary factor we need to take into consideration is that many basketball, football, tennis and other

sports

Use synonyms

experts earn extremely huge financial remuneration because they do those

sports

Use synonyms

professionally.

However

Linking Words

, why is

this

Linking Words

the case? Many other

professions

Use synonyms

are more important in society,

for example

Linking Words

, medical staff, teachers or police

people

Use synonyms

. Those

people

Use synonyms

do much more valuable work than physical work. They save human life, learn mathematics, history,

languages

Correct word choice

and languages

show examples

and

also

Linking Words

protect humanity, which is a more important tant play.

In contrast

Linking Words

, those

sports

Use synonyms

pro

Fix the agreement mistake

pros

show examples

sacrifice health, family time, work-life balance and so on.

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

they spend a lot of time training and becoming the best of the best ones. It says that

sports

Use synonyms

professionals live in

sports

Use synonyms

places like

gym

Fix the agreement mistake

gyms

show examples

, training

playground

Fix the agreement mistake

playgrounds

show examples

and

court

Fix the agreement mistake

courts

show examples

. Which is kind of justified why they get paid

such

Linking Words

enormous wages. Undeniably, everyone has their own opinion about

this

Linking Words

topic and

that is

Linking Words

fair because

people

Use synonyms

live in

democracy

Add an article

a democracy

show examples

and they can have it. There are always two sides, one side says that

sports

Use synonyms

professionals get big money for nothing,

while

Linking Words

the other says that

this

Linking Words

profession is harder emotionally and physically than others. I would assert that I prefer the view that the world has more important and valuable

professions

Use synonyms

than

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

and more money should be given to those who change our lives

oimigleSun May 04 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Consider revising the introduction to clearly outline the two views you will discuss and your opinion on the matter. This helps set a clearer direction for the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that connects directly to the argument you are making, and try to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence and cohesion

Use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement. This will help convey your points more effectively.

task achievement

You have successfully identified both sides of the argument regarding sports professionals and their financial success, which is essential in a discussion essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

financial remuneration
exceptional
merit
talent
demand
entertainment value
career span
physical demands
justified
unfair
criticism
income inequality
societal priorities
sportsmanship

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8.5
band
Mrs Barrett, an English-speaking woman who lives in your town, has advertised for someone to help her in her home for a few hours a day next summer. Write a letter to Mrs Barrett. In your letter • suggest how you could help her in her home • say why you would like to do this work • explain when you will and will not be available
I hope you are doing well. I recently came across your advertisement seeking help at home next summer, and I would love to offer my assistance.
6.5
band
It is not neccessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can just learn much from books, films and the internet . Do you agree or disagree ?
This is a topic of arguement that some people belive that learning culture of different society can be only mastered through Movies, books and internet while others think that it can be learned through travelling various countries. i belive that travelling and being physically present within the people of that particular culture could potentially makes it easier to learn the values and understand the culture in more deeper sense.
6.5
band
Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
While some museums are free to visit, many others charge visitors for entrance. taking funds for entry is alleged to be unnecessary however, it has many privileges for museums. I, personally consider this fee essential.
8
band
The advantages provided by English as a global language will continue to outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree with this statement.
Some people believe that the benefits of using English as a global lingua franca outweigh its drawbacks. From my perspective, despite some disadvantages, we can gain significant benefits from the prevalence of English.
7.5
band
Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned others however believe that people should be free to choose sport activities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, there is a disagreement between people about whether dangerous sports should be banned or not. There are lots of logical reasons for either banning or being free. I believe that it is important to consider these reasons equally because even if it is dangerous to do extreme sport, it is a choice. Also, if risks are not taken, we can not improve ourselves and move forward as a society.

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than other people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it's unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

It is not neccessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can just learn much from books, films and the internet . Do you agree or disagree ?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

The advantages provided by English as a global language will continue to outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree with this statement.

Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned others however believe that people should be free to choose sport activities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.