Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In recent years, it has been widely argued that 21st-century

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

show examples

design things that

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

them earn enormous income,

whereas

Linking Words

others fight through to make it alive. Some

people

Use synonyms

believes

Change the verb form

believe

show examples

there

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

should be

law

Add an article

a law

the law

show examples

to overcome

this

Linking Words

problem. From my

perspective

Add a comma

perspective,

show examples

I totally disagree with

this

Linking Words

opinion. In the following

paragraphs

Add a comma

paragraphs,

show examples

I will explain the reasons behind my view.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

prevent

Wrong verb form

preventing

show examples

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

show examples

to gain

Change preposition

from gaining

show examples

money

Use synonyms

from the work they do may have some possible disadvantages.

For example

Linking Words

, the number of

people

Use synonyms

who work in art or any relevant

feild

Correct your spelling

field

will decrease

Correct your spelling

due

show examples

this

Linking Words

regulation.

Therefore

Linking Words

, some of them may take another path to survive and, not in all cases these

pathes

Correct your spelling

paths

patches

are legal. Another reason worth to mention, individuals who are talented

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

depend on their talent as a source of income, so it is not fair for them to take that away.

Moreover

Linking Words

, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

some long-term

affect

Replace the word

effect

show examples

on the

countries

Change noun form

country's

countries'

show examples

economiy

Correct your spelling

economy

from

Change preposition

show examples

banning these

artisit

Correct your spelling

artist

artists

from taking their

money

Use synonyms

. To clarify, when

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

start to get involved in someone's financial state they will not live in that country.

Therefore

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

will start to move out and the

economey

Correct your spelling

economy

will drop

due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

immigration.

Whereae

Correct your spelling

Whereas

, the government should

provid

Correct your spelling

provide

those

people

Use synonyms

who

struggles

Change the verb form

struggle

show examples

with suitable jobs to help them rather than look over another person's

money

Use synonyms

To sum up

Linking Words

, the

artisit

Correct your spelling

artists

have the right to keep their own

money

Use synonyms

because it is their

sources

Fix the agreement mistake

source

show examples

of income and in some way helps with the

economey

Correct your spelling

economy

economies

of the country.

anody32Mon May 05 2025

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Task Achievement

Clarify your position more explicitly in the introduction and provide a stronger thesis statement to indicate the main points you will discuss.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates directly to your main argument, enhancing the logical flow between ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve your concluding paragraph by summarizing your main points and reiterating your stance in a more impactful way.

Task Achievement

You present a clear disagreement with the idea of government intervention, which is a solid foundation for your argument.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

income disparity
struggling artists
market demand
public preference
government support
grants
funding
exhibitions
cultural wealth
societal benefits
market dynamics
government intervention
art market
public taste
private investment
balanced artistic community
financial assistance
creative industry
artistic merit
economic sustainability

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