IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Living in large cities today poses many problems for people. What are these problems? Should governments encourage more people to live in smaller towns? Umar

Nowadays, living a big towns causes
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a lot of issues for citizens. There are several problems
such
Linking Words
 as
stress
Use synonyms
,diseases and
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 which governments suggest can work. Living in
a large cities
Correct the article-noun agreement
large cities
a large city
show examples
 can have
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
consequences
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
stress
Use synonyms
. Now, especially in huge areas, the movement is fast and people always can be busy
on
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apply
show examples
creating a
carier
Correct your spelling
career
carrier
 or
aspire
Wrong verb form
aspiring
show examples
 to be
succesfull
Correct your spelling
successful
 in their jobs.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it took a huge quantity of time and eventually that can lead to
loneilness
Correct your spelling
loneliness
 which
subsequently
Linking Words
 can change to
stress
Use synonyms
 and to
dieases
Correct your spelling
diseases
.
There
Correct your spelling
They're
show examples
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
classic example, in 2019 In Japan was attended more than 10,000
of
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apply
show examples
citizens in
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
 Hospital
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 mental problems, many of them adults who suffered from
broke
Correct word choice
broken
show examples
relatioship
Correct your spelling
relationships
 or
of
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apply
show examples
lack of them thereby complaining, that
due to
Linking Words
 their alone
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
create
Wrong verb form
created
show examples
 new
sicckness
Correct your spelling
sickness
.
Furthmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, some of them mentioned that it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 stronger their previous health or
mentsl
Correct your spelling
mental
 challenges. Governments should relocate inhabitants,who live in
enourmus settlemets
Correct your spelling
enormous settlements
 and
suffering
Wrong verb form
suffer
show examples
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 some reasons. The job of
administrations
Fix the agreement mistake
administration
show examples
 is
create
Change the verb form
to create
show examples
 more
comfotable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
 conditions for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
living for residents, and escape from
this
Linking Words
situtaion
Correct your spelling
situation
 is to prevent being in a terrible state and
began
Wrong verb form
begin
show examples
 to raise the
happiniess
Correct your spelling
happiness
 index. More
conviniet
Correct your spelling
convenient
 key is to change their previous place, where they were living and relocate them to less noisy environments
such
Linking Words
 as
village
Correct article usage
a village
show examples
 to
inavetably
Correct your spelling
inevitably
 find friends or new family.
For instance
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 2,000 in China showed a dramatic increase of people who tend to
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stressand
Correct your spelling
stress and
stressed
 there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 introduced
new
Change preposition
to new
show examples
 laws about saving people from
suizide
Correct your spelling
suicide
, and they
diceded
Correct your spelling
decided
 to transfer
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to urban areas on their desire. Results
was
Verb problem
showed
show examples
schoking
Correct your spelling
choking
stroking
shocking
 in
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 two
month
Change to a plural noun
months
show examples
,more than 20,000 individuals
prefed
Correct your spelling
preferred
 to move to new places,where they
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 feel calm and less
Use synonyms
stress
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
. It
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 reduced Cineese death. In conclusion,
althouh circumastances
Correct your spelling
although circumstances
 living in cities can
develop
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 some problems which can be hurtful,humans always can find
way
Add an article
a way
the way
show examples
 out of
this
Linking Words
situtatuin
Correct your spelling
situation
.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay clearly with a well-defined introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea.
Task Achievement
Try to expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations and more specific examples to support your arguments.
Language Use
Pay attention to grammar and spelling errors, as they can impact the clarity of your writing. Consider proofreading your essay for common mistakes.
Task Achievement
You addressed relevant issues that urban living presents, such as stress and mental health, which is good for task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear progression of ideas, which is essential for coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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