IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport why is this the case? what can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?

#people #bicycles #form #transport #case
Bicycles
 are now transportation which is less used all over the world. The reasons and some effective measures to push the residents to use
bicycles
 will be illustrated in the upcoming essay. Without any doubt, the speed of each bicycle is circumscribed with a maximum of around 30 kilometres per hour and
also
 costs more if the speed is higher, so it is extremely inconvenient for residents to displace.
Moreover
, it will take more time to reach the destination.
For example
,
people
 who work from home will get late if they cycle to the work office
instead
 of using machinery or fuel fossil vehicles. The other reason that bikes are limited the users is their perception of secrecy. Without keys or lockets,
people
 are afraid of bikes being stolen by
crimes
Replace the word
criminals
show examples
.
Hence
, it is clearly seen that,
due to
 its circumscribed speed and security, significantly more
people
 stop using
bicycles
 and the economy of selling bikes is now ever-declining. Do not write below
this
 line annually.
On the other hand
, there are a lot of conventional methods that can encourage
people
 to use
bicycles
.
Such
 as organizing some bike competitions or rolling out the advantages that impact humans' mental and physical health when cycling. With the bike competitions, governments or locals should organise
this
 event in some special vocations to wake up their cognizance, effort,
as well as
 their competitive collection so they will participate in and emulate others.
Additionally
, everyone should tell the benefits of cycling to each other,
such
 as enhancing mental health and pushing the body physically so that
people
 get more motivation for
this
 activity.
Although
 the restriction of
people
 who cycle is because of the limited speed and untight security, there are still some effective methods to push
people
 to cycling activities.
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task achievement
The essay provides a response to the prompt. However, the main points could be more clearly distinguished and elaborated. Try to focus on one reason and one solution per paragraph to ensure clarity and depth.
task achievement
In certain parts, ideas were not elaborated comprehensively. Consider providing more detailed explanations and examples to strengthen your arguments, particularly in the solutions section.
coherence cohesion
There are some vague phrases such as "some special vocations." Clarify your language to avoid any ambiguity and ensure your message is conveyed clearly.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from clear topic sentences and transitions for better logical structure. Use linking words such as "Firstly," "Secondly," "Furthermore," and "In conclusion" to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
The essay successfully identifies the reasons for the decline in bicycle use and proposes potential solutions, demonstrating a solid understanding of the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transport
  • cycling infrastructure
  • bike lanes
  • bike-sharing programs
  • traffic calming measures
  • commute
  • subsidies
  • physical exertion
  • environmental benefits
  • safety regulations
What to do next:
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