It is now possible for scientists and tourist to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. What are advantages and disadvantages of this development?

There are many natural places that are now open for scientists and tourists to travel to
such
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as the South Pole. I believe that
this
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new possibility can provide benefits
as well as
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drawbacks.
To begin
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with, the exploration of a new natural environment can be the door for discoveries. Scientists and explorers can find additional sources,
for example
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, unexplored surroundings where undiscovered medicines like herbs can be found which are a great help in treating specific diseases.
Additionally
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, finding out new components that can
also
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be used for medicinal purposes. In the end,
this
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can be a huge aid in the medical field today or in the future.
However
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, it is undeniable that resources from nature can
also
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be damaged in
this
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exploration. Travellers and researchers can be a potential risk to the animals, plants and other creatures living in the area.
For instance
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, in the South Pole, people can be the cause of rapid melting of ice,
thus
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, affecting polar bears, penguins and other habitats.
This
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might
also
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be the cause of the rising sea level.
Moreover
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, since the surrounding is not used by other visitors , especially humans, it can increase the chance of destruction that can sometimes lead to the extinction of animals. In conclusion, visiting undiscovered areas can be beneficial in a way that it can help tourists and scientists explore more and unveil new substances or living creatures, I
also
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believe that the negative impact of
this
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includes the destruction of habitats or certain animals, plants and other living organisms.

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task achievement
The essay addresses the advantages and disadvantages as required by the task, but could benefit from deeper exploration of the points raised. Consider elaborating on how these discoveries can positively impact society beyond just the medical field.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs. Using more cohesive devices (such as linking words) would help readers follow your argument more easily. For example, transitions like 'Furthermore' or 'On the other hand' would enhance the connection between advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear understanding of the topic and identifies both advantages and disadvantages effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly states the main idea and sets the tone for the discussion that follows.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote natural environments
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystems
  • climate change
  • conservation efforts
  • infrastructure
  • economic benefits
  • environmental degradation
  • wildlife
  • carbon emissions
  • commercialization
  • pristine environments
  • ethical considerations
  • irresponsible behavior
  • public interest
  • advocacy for environmental protection.
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