IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

People are surrounded by advertising. This both affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people’s lives.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In modern society,
people
Use synonyms
 spend most of their time on mobile phones which
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
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 big multinational companies to sell their products with the aid of advertisements.Some individuals think that there are
negetive imapact
Correct your spelling
negative impacts
 on human lives
while
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 others believe that it is important to have these ads.I will discuss both views in the following
paraghraps
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paragraphs
paragraph
.
To begin
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 with,the massive incline in amount of advertisements
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
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people
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 to buy
such
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 useless things which they
does
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do
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 not even need in their daily lives.In these commercials,Cooperates encourage humans with the aid of
pysological
Correct your spelling
psychological
physiological
 tricks that no life is possible without that specific product.
Besides
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 that,Massive banners near the highways are distractions for drivers which become the most common reason for accidents
in
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apply
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these days.
On the other hand
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,it become an important method to tell individuals about any product,
instead
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 of
this
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 way,there is
not any
Rephrase
no
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 other alternative method.
Also
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,
people
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 can observe the prices,offers and discounts of all materials without going
in
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to
show examples
 stores which is easy and efficient. in conclusion,I agree that modern society is almost impossible without ads and these advertisements
plays
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play
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 a vital role in the lives of common
people
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,but there should be strict rules and regulations
realted
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related
 to fake products,
manuplating
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manipulating
 minds,wrong information and
adultary
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adultery
.Only the government is able to
impliment
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implement
 these laws.

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task achievement
Ensure clarity in your arguments by more explicitly defining the impact and importance of advertisements in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between your paragraphs and ensuring that they relate well to each other.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to back up your claims about the effects of advertising and personal experiences to make your points more relatable and convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Correct spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'negetive' should be 'negative', 'imapact' should be 'impact', 'Cooperates' should be 'Corporations', etc.) to improve overall clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
You have introduced both perspectives on advertising, which shows a balanced approach and a clear understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your points well, reinforcing your viewpoint effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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