IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The increasing number of people travelling abroad for leisure is contributing to over-tourism in many destinations. Is this a positive or negative development?

Tourism
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The tourism
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 industry is developing rapidly nowadays. Many people tend to travel abroad which leads to over-tourism in different
countries
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. I think that it
overall
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 brings a positive impact on the
countries
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’ economy. There are many positive sides
of
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to
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 the development of tourism. The first one is support for the growth of small business. The influx of tourists in different
countries
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 especially during certain seasons helps to develop the country’s infrastructure.
For instance
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, some Sochi residents try to open their own
business
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businesses
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such
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 as food stalls along the beach. Another positive side of tourism is the prosperity of national culture and traditions. Tourists inform other
countries
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 or their home
countries
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 about interesting traditions that they
had
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have
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 experienced during the trip and in that way promote the country. It helps to share valuable experience and save it
to
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for
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 the descendants. In conclusion, I believe that despite the over-tourism in many
countries
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, the influx of people from different
countries
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 has more positive than negative impact, as it helps to develop the
countries
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’ economy, and helps to spread the traditions and customs across the world.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents the topic well, but consider providing a brief overview of the main points you will discuss in the essay. This will help the reader understand your approach from the beginning.
task achievement
In your second body paragraph, try to expand your point on culture by including specific examples of traditions or cultural elements that tourists can promote. This will strengthen your argument further.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your points are elaborated with connective words to create clear links between sentences and paragraphs. For instance, using phrases like 'for example', 'in addition', or 'furthermore' can enhance flow.
task achievement
While your conclusion effectively summarizes your view, it could be improved by reflecting briefly on potential solutions to over-tourism or acknowledging the challenges it presents, thereby giving a more balanced perspective.
task achievement
Your essay effectively outlines a clear opinion about the impact of tourism, focusing on economic and cultural benefits, which displays strong task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is logically organized with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is a positive aspect of coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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