IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people argue that we have to think twice before deciding to eat fast food because of some health problems it may cause, while others believe that this kind of food is a good choice for those with a very busy life. Which opinion do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Cuisine is an essential part of everybody's life. It is argued whether fast
food
Use synonyms
 is a healthy choice for
people
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 who are busy in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 or it is an unhealthy choice.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree with the statement because of health problems and artificial flavours present in fast
food
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 which will be elaborated on in detail in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, junk
food
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 is
a
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an
show examples
 easy meal for
people
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 who have a hectic schedule but it has serious consequences like diabetes, obesity and hypertension.
For example
Linking Words
, an article published in
New
Correct article usage
the New
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 York Times, states that
people
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 who eat fast
food
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 three times a week; their chances of having heart disease are more as compared to those who eat home-cooked
meals
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. Carryout cooking not only affects physical well-being
,
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apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 affects mental ability.
As a result
Linking Words
, ready
meals
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 are an easy option but it is not a healthy best for
public
Add an article
the public
a public
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 who want to live a longer life. Another reason why convenience
food
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 is harmful to the bloom of a person is because of the additives and preservatives present in the
food
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 so that it can stay longer and fresh in the fridge. All these chemical compositions can lead to gut problems where they can kill the good bacteria in the gut.
Consequently
Linking Words
, society should eat homemade
snack
Fix the agreement mistake
snacks
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 which would be fresh and
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 them with all the nutrients for their minds and bodies. In my opinion,
although
Linking Words
 easy
meals
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 available in the market are sometimes a good option for busy-schedule
people
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, it is not a healthy choice.
People
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 should make a meal plan where they can do their groceries by themselves and prepare their
meals
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 on their off days. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 eating junk meat is convenient for some
people
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, it can lead to serious bloom problems which cannot be recovered through medications and exercise. community should try their best to eat at home where they will know what ingredients are used in the
meals
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.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and presents a clear argument against fast food. However, it could benefit from more fully developing your ideas and providing more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your paragraphs. Ensure each point transitions smoothly to the next, which will enhance the cohesiveness of your arguments. Consider using linking phrases to improve connections between ideas.
task achievement
You provided a clear stance on the topic and presented reasons supporting your viewpoint. Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by outlining your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your main argument well, reinforcing the idea that home-cooked meals are preferred over fast food.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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