IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think advertising may have positive economic effects. Others think it has negative social effects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In modern society, there are two different perspectives regarding the impact of advertising.
While
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 some believe it has negative social effects, others emphasize its positive economic contributions. In my view, advertising can have significant benefits if carefully regulated to minimize its drawbacks. On one hand, those who argue that advertising has negative social effects point out that it can mislead consumers. Advertisements
such
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 as product promotions always have an exaggerated account of product functions
while
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 downplaying potential side effects, leading to uninformed decision-making.
Additionally
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, they
also
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 argue that advertising can be incredibly disruptive nowadays, as you can see various commercials everywhere in your life,
such
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 as between episodes of TV shows, on buses or other public transports, or even when you open apps or browse websites.
This
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 overwhelming presence can disrupt people’s daily lives and create a sense of intrusion.
On the other hand
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, proponents of advertising emphasize its economic benefits, particularly its role in bridging the gap between customers and suppliers. Advertising allows companies to reach their target audiences effectively and communicate detailed information about their products.
This
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, in turn, provides consumers with a variety of options and the ability to make informed decisions based on their needs and preferences. In my opinion, advertising is a double-edged sword, and proper regulation is crucial to maximizing its benefits
while
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 minimizing harm.
For instance
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, implementing strict standards to ensure advertisements accurately represent product features can help protect customers from deception.
Furthermore
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, the frequency and placement of advertisements should
also
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 be restricted to an appropriate level, reducing their disruptive impact on daily life. In conclusion, I would argue that with the establishment of clear standards and effective enforcement of regulations, the advertising industry can strike a balance.
This
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 would allow society to benefit from the economic advantages of advertising
while
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 mitigating its negative social impacts.

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples or references to real-world situations to reinforce your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph builds logically on the previous one for a more fluid reasoning flow.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced perspective, which is crucial for a well-rounded discussion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, setting up the discussion and providing a concise summary.
coherence cohesion
Each main point is well-supported with explanations, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
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