Some people believe that hard work are required to achieve a goal while other believe that getting anew hobby to be enjoyable. In what extent do you agree or disagree?

today is

Correct your spelling

today's

show examples

world,

this

Linking Words

topic has become a matter of considerable debate .

While

Linking Words

some people firmly believe that having a

hobby

Use synonyms

is significant for their lives, others argue that it should expand

time

Use synonyms

for

activity

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

. essay, I will examine both sides of the

arguments

Fix the agreement mistake

argument

show examples

. On the one hand , we should

several

Add a missing verb

do several

show examples

activities during our lifetime.

Firstly

Linking Words

, hobbies can assist

Correct pronoun usage

us to

show examples

become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health

Replace the word

healthy

show examples

becouse

Correct your spelling

because

effort

Correct article usage

an effort

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

do a

hobby

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

, hobbies can facilitate to

raise

Correct your spelling

rise

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

spirit

thus

Linking Words

more and more humans are willing to spend

time

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

show examples

leisure

Use synonyms

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, these days I am expanding

twise

Correct your spelling

twice

a week for pastime

activity

Use synonyms

Finally

Linking Words

, leisure

activity

Use synonyms

able

Add a missing verb

is able

show examples

to help

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

independent

Replace the word

independence

show examples

becouse

Correct your spelling

because

You do

Correct pronoun usage

your on

show examples

your own your activities ,

Linking Words

Correct word choice

and as

show examples

a result, you will be

Remove the article

apply

show examples

self-rule.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, leisure activities

arise

Correct your spelling

raise

show examples

numerous issues. First of all, we

have

Add a missing verb

do have

show examples

not a lot of

time

Use synonyms

for other

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

becouse

Correct your spelling

because

we waste a bunch of

time

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

hobby

Fix the agreement mistake

hobbies

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, many individuals fancy to spend numerous

time

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

hobby

Fix the agreement mistake

hobbies

show examples

than

main

Correct pronoun usage

their main

show examples

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

as a result

Linking Words

they become

Change the article

apply

show examples

lazy. In conclusion, more and more people support that we should not

extreme

Add a missing verb

have extreme

show examples

activity

Use synonyms

but I do not agree

this

Linking Words

is feedback . I agree that we ought to

several

Add a missing verb

have several

show examples

Use synonyms

activity

Change to a plural noun

activities

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

our lives.

saydusmonovasomiddin94Wed May 07 2025

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task achievement

Clarify your viewpoint in the introduction by stating whether you agree or disagree with the statement.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that you develop these ideas fully.

coherence and cohesion

Avoid informal language and use appropriate expressions to enhance the formal tone of your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Proofread for grammatical errors to improve the clarity of your writing.

task achievement

You have made an attempt to present both sides of the argument, which is commendable.

task achievement

You provided examples from personal experiences, which adds relevance to your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

224 words

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Some people believe that hard work are required to achieve a goal while other believe that getting anew hobby to be enjoyable. In what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Schools should stop using books for teaching children as they find them boring and use films tv and computer instead. to what extent do you agree and disagree?

Children are experiencing increasing educational, social, and commercial pressures. what are the causes? what measures do you think can be taken to reduce them?

Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawbacks?