IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Air pollution is one of the largest problems facing the world today. What are its causes and what measures can be proposed to solve this problem?

The proliferation of society in recent years has led to severe
air
Use synonyms
 pollution in many cities. Two significant issues associated with
this
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 trend are emissions from the
vehicles
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 on the road and bad odour from
landfills
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, hope can find the possibility of a government encouraging the use of electric
vehicles
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. To start off, the
cause
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 that contributes to
air
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 pollution is transportation and factories emit a lot of smoke and dust during operation. The process of burning fuel creates lots of waste gas that must be released into the environment.
As a result
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, residents breathing these gases will
cause
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 many diseases of the lungs and respiratory tract.
This
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 is true in China, where most of the citizens with lung cancer are caused by these toxic gases. Another
cause
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 worth considering is the fact that if the rubbish is left untreated for a long time, it will
cause
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 a foul smell.
People
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 do not dump it in
landfills
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 but throw it any place, causing it to accumulate over time.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the stench from the
landfills
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 gradually spread into
people
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's homes. In order to address
this
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 issue, it is vital to call on everyone to actively use electric
vehicles
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. If the government encouraged
people
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, they would reduce the amount of emissions making it into the
air
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 each day.
Although
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 electric transportation runs relatively slowly, it is really smooth and quiet and contributes dramatically to making the city cleaner. A clear example is Vietnam, where most
people
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 switched to electric
vehicles
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 in big cities and gradually spread to the suburbs.
Thus
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, it can be seen that
air
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 pollution is in part
due to
Linking Words
 emissions from
vehicles
Use synonyms
as well as
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 factories and bad odours emitted from
landfills
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.
This
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 is why it is so important to demand our government promote resident's use of electric
vehicles
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.

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task achievement
Try to elaborate on your main points with more detail and examples where possible. For instance, discussing more on how electric vehicles specifically reduce air pollution could strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly state your thesis in the introduction. This could help guide your reader through your essay more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more effectively to connect your ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This can improve the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance the readability of your essay. This can make it more engaging for the reader.
task achievement
Your essay identifies two significant causes of air pollution, which shows a good understanding of the topic and gives your essay direction.
task achievement
You provide specific examples, such as the situation in China and Vietnam, which add relevance to your discussion.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear, with distinct sections for causes and proposed solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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