IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows the average hours worked per day by married men and women in paid employment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the average hours worked per day by married men and women in paid employment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
the chart gives information about the daily standard working
hours
Use synonyms
 by married individuals in paid jobs, both
men
Use synonyms
 and women.
Overall
Linking Words
, the time spent on paid
work
Use synonyms
 has always been higher than unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
, both husbands and wives.
While
Linking Words
 the
hours
Use synonyms
 worked by
men
Use synonyms
 in paid
work
Use synonyms
 were much, the total was the highest in all group genders. As for the spent time
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 young
men
Use synonyms
,
initially
Linking Words
, they worked more in paid jobs.
However
Linking Words
, they spent almost twice the much time in unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, their total reached just under 10
hours
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
hours
Use synonyms
 worked by wives aged 24 -44 were the same as both paid
work
Use synonyms
 and unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
. If we look at husbands aged 45-64 in the chart. The paid
work
Use synonyms
 category index has been the highest, but the part of unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
 was the lowest among all the others.
By contrast
Linking Words
, in women of the same age as
men
Use synonyms
, the paid
work
Use synonyms
 is slightly higher than the unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 at domestic, which is slightly higher than the unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 at domestic.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, men, work, home with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average
  • hours worked
  • paid employment
  • married men
  • married women
  • employment status
  • gender disparity
  • work-life balance
  • cultural factors
  • societal expectations
  • economic contribution
  • family dynamics
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