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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below gives information on UK acid rain emissions, measured in millions of tonnes, from four different sectors between 1990 and 2007.

The table below gives information on UK acid rain emissions, measured in millions of tonnes, from four different sectors between 1990 and 2007.
The line chart shows data on acid rain emissions in the UK from four different fields from 1990 to 2007, calculated in millions of
tonnes
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, electricity, gas and water supply decreased dramatically during 18
years
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 and crossed paths with other industries.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, transport and communication were unstable.
However
Linking Words
, domestic emissions
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 decreased vastly. Based on the data, electricity, gas and water supply were the highest in 1991 at 3.5
million
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tonnes
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, meanwhile, in the next 16
years
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, they declined significantly to 0.5
million
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tonnes
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.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the other industries dropped slightly in 2
years
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 from 2 to around 1.5
million
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tonnes
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, afterwards, they collapsed gradually 12
years
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 later at approximately 1
million
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tonnes
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, transport and communication was lower than 2 other sectors. By 1991, they started at roughly under 1
million
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tonnes
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.
Thereafter
Linking Words
 they outstripped electricity, gas and water supply in 2003 and reached their peak in 2005 at 1
million
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tonnes
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.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the domestic emission was the lowest sector, initiated at almost 0.5
million
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tonnes
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 and decreased substantially from 1995 to 2007.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "thereafter".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tonnes, years, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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