IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be diverless. The only people travelling insifode these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of diverless vehicles outweighs the disadvantage.

The rapidly evolving technology may enable cars to be
self-driven
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 in the future, and only the passengers will be
travilling
Correct your spelling
travelling
 in the
car
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.
In
Change preposition
According
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according to
Linking Words
personal
Correct pronoun usage
my personal
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 view,
this
Linking Words
 would enhance the quality of life considerably with minor risks of being taken
hostage
Add the comma(s)
, hostage
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. On one hand,
road
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the road
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 is a complex environment where all levels of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society have to interact. Even though
,
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apply
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 cars have become easy to handle and enjoyable to drive, navigating the
high speed
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high-speed
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, ever-changing road creates high-stress situations.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a
self-driven
Use synonyms
car
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 will convert the stressed driver into a relaxed passenger.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the primary disadvantage of a
self-driven
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car
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 is that a hacker on the other side of the world can take control of your
car
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, hijacking your life. In the digital
era
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era,
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 it is very difficult to be digitally safe, but it is possible to follow best practices and utilise up-to-date security tools.
Therefore
Linking Words
, even if there is a risk of a
self-driven
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car
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 being highjacked, it can be converted into a safe environment. In summary, a
self-driven
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car
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 will improve the quality of life considerably and the related security risks can be mitigated by utilising proper tools.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages. I assume that our roads will be filled with
self-driven
Use synonyms
 cars within the next 50 years.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to include a clear thesis statement in your introduction that directly addresses the question. This helps to guide your reader through your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to enhance the connections between your ideas. Using transitional phrases can help in making your argument flow better.
Task Achievement
Provide a few more specific examples to support your main points. Specificity can strengthen your argument significantly.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt well and presents a clear stance on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay is mostly logical, with distinct paragraphs for each main point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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